Chapter 102
Lucky sat on Kevin's couch. He mainly looked down at the floor while he waited, but every once in a while, his eyes darted toward Kevin. Nikolas was due for their session in five minutes, but Lucky had already spoken to Kevin for half an hour before that. Lucky brought his thumbnail up to his teeth and absentmindedly chewed on it, momentarily forgetting his resolution to stop biting his nails. He frowned and stopped when he tasted the iron of his blood dripping down the side of his thumb. He looked up again and blushed when Kevin handed him a tissue with no comment. Lucky wiped the side of his mouth and stared at the red slash of blood on the white tissue. He held it over his thumb and applied pressure. Denied the satisfaction of ripping at his thumbnail, Lucky's knees started jerking and bobbing, and he gave up trying to appear calm. He took in a deep breath, held it and then released it slowly. He glanced at Kevin again, who was busy writing and filing.
He and Kevin had discussed the approach to the session. The focus would be to tell Nikolas the truth but be sensitive to the fact that his brother might be very upset to hear what his uncle had done to him. Kevin would begin by telling Nikolas why he was asked to come, and then Lucky would tell him the facts that were revealed in his hypnosis. Lucky had protested and suggested that maybe Kevin should just play back the tape of the hypnosis, but Kevin disagreed saying that the tape would be harder for his brother to hear with all of the detail and emotion of the actual moment coming alive through Lucky's blow by blow recollection. Just follow your instincts, Kevin had recommended. Lucky had told Kevin that he thought it might be better for him to tell Nikolas while they were outside talking, but Kevin said they should follow through with the session.
There was a brief knock at Kevin's door, and Nikolas entered. Nikolas was dressed conservatively in his European styled double-breasted black suit, white shirt and abstract blue power tie. He smoothed his hand nervously over the blazer and smiled very briefly as he walked over to the chair that Kevin offered with a wave of his hand.
"Thank you for coming today," Kevin said as he shook Nikolas' hand. Nikolas seated himself, adjusted the crease in his trousers and glanced over at Lucky who suddenly bounded up from the couch with a broad smile "Hi Nikolas," he said cheerfully as he walked over to the chair beside his brother and noisily plopped down on the seat. He saw the direction of Nikolas' gaze and looked down at the bloody tissue on top of his thumb. He waved the thumb in the air and said, "Hangnail." Lucky laughed brittlely and then stopped abruptly when he noticed it was too loud for the small room.
"Hi Lucky," Nikolas said quietly. He was nervous, too, and showed it by becoming very reserved and proper, a legacy of his upbringing by Stefan.
Lucky smiled again, but his face fell when he noticed his brother's reserve.
Kevin took his seat and began the session. "Nikolas, I wanted you to come today so Lucky could tell you some information that was uncovered in his last hypnosis session. He was having difficulties with his memory of events that occurred soon after he returned home from his kidnapping, and now some of the pieces have fallen into place. The information is disturbing, and I thought that it might be wise to have a discussion in my office. Lucky can tell you what he knows, and then I'll be available to discuss it with both of you."
Nikolas' back straightened even further, and he played with the crease in his trousers. "And you believe that this information will be disturbing to me personally?" he questioned as he crossed his leg in a characteristic way.
Lucky's right eyebrow rose slightly as he viewed his brother's body language. Nikolas was becoming more like Stefan by the moment - his tone of voice, hand gestures, the set of his face. A shiver went through Lucky, and he felt his mouth go dry. He wondered if he could signal Kevin that he needed to stop this session before it started. He had a very bad feeling about this. He brought his index fingernail to his mouth and began desperately tearing at it, not caring if it bled or hurt.
Kevin looked at Lucky, and the boy slouched in his chair, seeming to grow smaller by the second. He avoided Kevin's gaze. Lucky sat on his hands and sighed. "Am I supposed to start talking?" he asked. Kevin nodded, and Lucky sighed again. He looked at his brother and then said, "I need to sit on the couch." Lucky jumped up from his seat to establish distance from his brother and sank into the couch with relief. He laid his head on the couch's armrest and began to speak.
"When I got home from being kidnapped, things were bad. My parents didn't tell anyone that I was there because they couldn't - I couldn't handle seeing people. I'd been locked up for a year and was in pretty bad shape when I walked up to my house and knocked on the door. I kept doing things like hiding in closets or under the bed." Nikolas turned toward his brother so he could see his face. He'd never heard the particulars of Lucky's first days home, and this caught his interest.
Lucky paused for a few seconds and rubbed his nose, trying to get up the nerve to reveal information about himself that he considered embarrassing. He continued on with a leaden, mechanical voice, trying to distance himself from what he was revealing. "I tried to cut myself, so they took me to the hospital - Mercy, that is." Lucky cleared his throat. "I was wacko, and they made me stay for a couple of days. I don't remember much about it - just that I was scared, fighting people, getting stuck with needles, that kind of stuff. They finally let me go, and I came back home with my parents. I wasn't better, though, not really. I mean, they drugged me up, but then the pills ran out and that was it."
Nikolas frowned with concern. He hadn't known that Lucky had needed help that far back and that Luke and Laura weren't there for him. In fact, he'd only seen his brother maybe two or three times before going on the road with the L&B Eddie Maine tour. He remembered Laura often being at Wyndemere at that time, visiting him and his uncle. She had told him during one of those times that Lucky was alive, and she'd brought him with her to Wyndemere the next time. Lucky had been withdrawn and quiet, not saying much, but of course Nikolas hadn't noticed or cared especially - he was so happy to have more time with his mother. Nikolas looked down at his hands as a feeling of shame washed over him.
Lucky held his forehead in both hands. "She didn't want me there," he said with a choked voice. "She wanted me out of the way so she could start a new family." Lucky's pained eyes met Nikolas' inquisitive brown eyes. "She was having an affair with Stefan. She wanted to divorce my father and marry him. She wanted to shove me off onto Luke. I overheard her talking to Stefan on the phone. They wanted to put me into Ferncliff and forget that I existed."
Nikolas' eyes moistened, and he cleared his throat. "I sort of knew they'd had an affair after, you know, the murder. But the rest of this…"
Lucky shrugged. "I didn't know either." He laughed and then resumed hiding his face in his hands. "I walked out of the house when I heard that. I got on a bus and rode for hours. It finally stopped at Cortland Street, the last stop of the day. I got off and wandered around. I was confused. I didn't know what to do or where to go. But, then some guy stopped me and asked if I wanted to shoot up. I didn't turn him down." Lucky looked over at Nikolas with a red face. "I took drugs at Faison's compound. They used to give them to me to make me more…oh, compliant I guess you could say." Lucky bit down hard on his teeth, and his jaw twitched several times. "So I didn't say no. I had some cash in my wallet, and I bought some supplies. I woke up in the alley the next day, hopped on another bus and finally made it back home. No one noticed or cared that I'd been missing all night." Lucky paused. "Um, there's something you should know before the next part."
Nikolas folded his hands and waited patiently for his brother to resume. "I told you about our mom, and…you know…that she let those men, um, hurt me and stuff? What I didn't say is that I saw her naked in bed having sex with a man when I was six and the man…well, he strangled me and I passed out." Lucky gulped when he saw his brother's eyes bug out. "He was a big guy, and he wasn't wearing any clothes," Lucky said hoarsely. "He scared me." A few tears built up in Lucky's eyes, and he wiped them away with a finger. "I didn't remember that - they were voices in my head for years, like the bogeyman, but it came out in the first hypnosis. So, anyway, that's that. You need to know," Lucky insisted. He crossed his leg and began playing with his shoe.
"I came home after that night in the alley. It was maybe 11AM. I went straight to my room and hid the drugs in a cigar box. I placed it in my closet. I wanted to wash up after being in that alley all night so I headed for the bathroom. But when I passed my parents' bedroom door, I heard voices, a man's voice. The door was ajar, so I pushed it and called out for my mom. The shower was running in their bathroom, and she didn't hear me. I walked a step into the room, and there it was on the nightstand. It was a gold medallion with a long gold chain. I turned it over, and Stefan's initials were on the back."
Fear shot into Nikolas' veins, but he remained silent as his brother talked.
"They were laughing, and laughing and laughing," Lucky said tearfully. "They wouldn't stop laughing. I was frozen there, but then they came out of the bathroom, so I hid in the closet. I didn't have time to run out of the room like I wanted to. They started talking and then…and then they started having sex." Lucky's voice croaked, and he angrily cleared his throat. "It like, did something to me. My mind got messed up, and it was like I was six years old again, you know? I ran over there like before and grabbed Stefan by the hair. I pulled, and he sprang up from the bed, backing me into the wall. I was so scared. Oh my God."
Lucky stopped talking and began trembling with the memory. He looked at one corner of the room and desperately tried to compose himself. He rubbed on the arm of the sofa to try to make a connection with his surroundings. "He banged me into the wall and called me a psycho," Lucky strangled out. "I…I looked down, and it was like all those years ago," Lucky added. His eyes began losing focus, and he felt himself drifting.
"Lucky!" Kevin said sharply. "Lucky are you okay?" Lucky continued to drift for a few seconds but never reached the white, cloudy place in his mind. Kevin's sharp tone of voice snapped him back into the moment. "What?" he asked with confusion as he frowned at Kevin.
Nikolas looked at his brother with alarm, afraid that they'd lost Lucky.
Lucky shook his head. "I'm okay," he said.
"You were telling your brother what happened that morning..." Kevin prompted.
"Yeah," Lucky said in a stronger voice. "I left the room so to speak, and then when I woke up, I was out in the hall with Stefan. He was choking me, lifting me from the floor. He was so strong. I thought I was going to die. I knew I would. He said I'd better keep my mouth shut."
Nikolas stiffened in his seat to try to prepare himself for a bomb.
Lucky continued. "He said he was the one who had Faison kidnap me. He wanted the Ice Princess back and revenge on my father. It was good for him that I was away, too. So he could be close to our mother. Uh, he dialed his cell phone and held it to my ear." Lucky jumped up from the couch and turn away from Nikolas. He held his hands to his ears and shook it fiercely. "Oh no, oh God, no," he said fearfully "It was Faison. He was taunting me, telling me how he was going to torture me when he got me again, that he was waiting for me. I knew he'd do those things. I knew it." Lucky's voice turned very tense and jittery. "Stefan grabbed me, turned me around and kicked me in the back. I fell down the stairs. It hurt so much. My back and legs - I couldn't move. He was going to hurt me, maybe kill me. I tried to run away. It was so hard. But I made it out the back door. I had to hide. He was coming. I could hear him. I slid into Foster's house, the doghouse, and kept quiet. Stefan came out, but he didn't find me. Oh…" Lucky started shivering, and he drew his arms around his midriff. "It was so cold, and I felt so much pain. My dad found me later. He questioned me, and I told him about Stefan and our mother and that Stefan hurt me." Lucky's voice dropped low. "My dad, he said he'd kill him, he'd kill Stefan."
Lucky turned to face his brother with a desperate, pleading face. "My dad, he says it's not my fault. He said he did it, but I told, I told him, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Nikolas. I didn't want Stefan to die. Honest, I didn't." Lucky stood shaking, his arms gripped tightly around his middle, and his tearful eyes searched his brother's face for clues to his thoughts.
Nikolas sat ramrod straight in his chair and didn't move an inch. He didn't look directly at Lucky, but his eyes focused past him, on the door. An avalanche of emotion was crashing down on him like he'd never experienced before in his life. He was totally unequipped to deal with this. Nothing Stefan had ever taught him prepared him for this moment. Shame, regret, anger, fear and shock mixed together and jabbed at his nerves. He blinked several times.
"Nikolas?" Kevin asked. "How are you feeling right now?"
Nikolas heard Kevin talking to him, but he didn't compute the meaning of the words or respond. His jaw hung down a little bit, and his mouth parted. Suddenly, his brain activated his leg muscles, and he stood up abruptly. His eyes grew wider, and he felt his mouth say in a choked voice, "I'm sorry." Nikolas legs marched him toward the door, and he brushed past his brother, flung the door open and walked into the hallway. He walked faster and faster as his lung heaved with his heavy breathing. At the end of the hallway, he opened up the door to the stairwell and started running down the stairs, his adrenaline taking over his mind and body. After leaping down several flights of stairs, Nikolas finally reached an exit door, banged it open, and ran outside into the clear air and green grass of the General Hospital grounds.
~*~*~*~
Kevin rose from his chair. Those two boys are more alike than they know, he thought. Their first instincts are to take off, to run and hide, head for the hills. Kevin turned his attention to Lucky.
Lucky had his back to Kevin and his shoulders were hunched over. The boy's body was shaking almost as badly as if he were having a seizure, and Kevin grew concerned. He walked around his desk. "Lucky," he said as he touched Lucky's shoulder.
Lucky whipped around and stepped away from Kevin. "Don't touch me," he said angrily as his eyes flashed. His jaw set firmly as he met Kevin's gaze. "I didn't want to tell him," he insisted. "I changed my mind this morning, remember? So we did it your way. Now, he's gone. I have no idea if he's going to speak to me again." Lucky's face flushed with anger. He waved his finger at Kevin. "I'll do things my way, in my own time. I'm outta here." Lucky turned and walked out of the door.
Kevin stood in the middle of the room, rubbing his neck tiredly and thinking. The kid is right. You botched that one up big time, Collins.
~*~*~*~
Nikolas was sweating by the time he reached the bench by the fountain. His tie was askew, and he yanked hard at it to remove it from his neck. He stared at the tie for a moment and angrily threw it away from him. I hate ties, he thought as he stepped on it and kicked it away into the grass. Why am I even CEO of this hospital? I don't like it. I'm not good at it. So am I doing it to feel closer to Stefan or is it a warped sense of duty?
Nikolas sat down on a bench and looked at the fountain as the water bubbled repeatedly through the concrete structure surrounding it. He placed his hands on his head and then ran them down over his face. Lucky. How could this happen? Did Stefan do it for me? For him? Was I so happy to receive a scrap of attention from my mother that I ignored the obvious? Why didn't I ask more questions? Nikolas leaned over his knees and began crying, the sounds of his weeping obscured by the noise of the fountain. His whole body trembled as he wept and shook his head. I loved him. My uncle was a monster, but I loved him. I don't know what to think or feel. My uncle was a monster and my mother is worse.
Nikolas thought about a small, six year old Lucky being choked to death right in front of his mother. "Why can't my brother ever catch a break?" he asked out loud. Nikolas wiped away his tears and leaned his head back against the wooden bench with a weary sigh. I want things to be better - for all of us. Nikolas felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, but then he startled and turned around when he felt a hand, for real, on his shoulder. "Lucky?" he asked. "What are you doing here?"
Lucky smiled briefly and sat beside his brother on the bench. He folded his hands and said, "I told them I needed to see my brother, that you were upset, so they let me out for half an hour. I guess they're not too worried that I'll bolt since I'm leaving tomorrow morning, bright and early." Lucky shifted on the bench. "I ran out here, too. It was back in the winter when I took off. They had to drag my bare butt back into the hospital." Lucky shook his head and snickered, rubbing the sidewalk with his sneaker. "It's a great place to escape to. Last time I was here, I smoked up a storm, and Emily got on my case about smelling like an ashtray."
"Americans," muttered Nikolas.
Lucky laughed lightly. "Yeah, those ignorant Americans. They grow the best tobacco in the world." Lucky nudged his brother in the side with an elbow.
Nikolas smirked and shook his head. "You have a warped sense of humor, little brother."
"Ah, yes, warped but always on time," Lucky stated with an eyebrow raised. His face softened. "Are you okay, Nikolas? I was worried about you. You ran out of there so quickly. You didn't even give me a hug and kiss or say goodbye."
Nikolas made a puffing noise as he exhaled and giggled at the same time. "Would you stop, you brat? I'm fine. Just fine." He rubbed his hand over his hair. "I'm sorry, you know. It hit me so hard. I knew that Stefan had his issues, but this…it was just too much to comprehend. I had to jog around the picnic area several times before I could finally process it. I'm stunned, and I'm saddened that both my uncle and our mother treated you so horribly. I wish there were some way that we could take all of this back - the kidnapping, the murder, everything."
Lucky nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. "I haven't handled things very well. That's me, the screaming idiot. I haven't made much sense in the last two years. I think I've been on every illegal street drug and legal psychiatric drug at one time or another - a real walking pharmacy. That's not going to change any time soon. I'm still taking four drugs every day just to keep me sane and stable. Who ever would have thought this would happen to me? I was on top of my world. Mr. Cool, able to deal with all of the evil powers of the universe. All I had to do was show my Spencer badge, and the bad guys vanished. Too bad it was all an illusion."
"I don't know, Lucky," said Nikolas. "You handled what life threw at you. You're still here, aren't you? Lesser men would have succumbed."
"Um, Nikolas, is that out of some Latin textbook? You sound like a Roman general." Lucky smiled, inwardly pleased that his older brother had a positive opinion about him.
"Not too practical, am I?" Nikolas observed. "Sure, I can spout my Latin and seven other languages besides, but I don't know when my own uncle, my father essentially, is lying, cheating and manipulating. He was a criminal, and I didn't know. I placed my trust in a monster."
Lucky nodded. "Me, too," he said softly as his thoughts returned to Laura. "You didn't do anything wrong, Nikolas. I don't blame you. In fact, you've helped me - a lot more than you know. Bringing me my guitar all the time, feeding me Kelly's chili. You gave me a little happiness in the midst of all this mess." Lucky's eyes teared up and he gestured back towards the hospital with his thumb. "I was locked up, but you made it seem like it wasn't such a prison. Thank you."
Nikolas' eyes teared up, too, and he smiled gratefully. He reached over and pulled Lucky into a hug, and the two brothers cried silently for a minute while they held on tightly to one another. Finally, they separated and both young men attempted to deal with the mess that their tears had created. "This is something else we can thank our mother for," Lucky muttered as he sniffed loudly and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "She's a real weeping machine."
Nikolas laughed as he reached for his custom embroidered handkerchief in the inside pocket of his blazer. "So it bypassed Lulu and hit the men full force?"
Lucky nodded slowly. "Bad genes," he said resolutely. "They come back to haunt you at the worst times."
"The Catholic nuns at my school called me a crybaby," said Nikolas with a grin. "They told me to stop it or they'd give me something to cry about."
Lucky sniveled and nodded in agreement. "When I was in preschool, they called my mother and made her take me home. They said my constant crying was scaring the other children and could she please teach her son to control himself."
"That's bad," Nikolas agreed.
"Yeah," Lucky replied. "The Spencer gene hadn't kicked in yet. Webber genes are hell."
"What in the world am I going to do?" sighed Nikolas as he bent over, searching around in the grass for his discarded tie. "I really don't want to run this hospital anymore, but what now? L&B was a lark. I'm tired of partying nonstop for hours every night. What can I do?"
"Why don't you go to school?" Lucky suggested. "I'm starting this fall. Maybe you could study something interesting."
"I wanted to be a lawyer, like Alexis," Nikolas admitted sheepishly. "I never told anyone because I was supposed to be training to be a stupid prince."
"There you go," said Lucky. "I bet you can test out of two or three years of college, go pre-law and be in law school within a year."
"I need to talk to Alexis," Nikolas stated. "About a lot of things. She's my trustee."
"Alexis is a nice person," Lucky observed. "I always liked her."
Nikolas smiled broadly. "Me, too. She gives good advice - for free to me! I'm going to go back to my office and call her."
Lucky rose from the bench. "I need to get back so they don't call out the hounds," he said. "I'm glad you're my brother, Nikolas. Please don't let this come between us, okay?"
Nikolas shook Lucky's hand. "No way, little brother."
~*~*~*~
"Alexis," said Nikolas as he sat behind his massive executive desk with his tie still removed. "Can I visit you in Manhattan this weekend? I know it's short notice, but some things have come up that have really got me thinking about my life and choices I've made. I need your advice, as always."
Nikolas listened intently and laughed into the phone. "Great," he said. "You're the best." He paused for a minute as he pulled out his bank book. "I also need you to approve a large financial transaction for me."
~*~*~*~
One hour later…
Nikolas walked into the accounting department looking a bit confused but smiling when he found the area that he was looking for. He wasn't wearing his tie or blazer anymore and seemed much more relaxed than he'd been in months.
The accounts payable manager looked up from her desk. "Can I help you?" she asked shortly, not recognizing this boss of all ultimate bosses.
Nikolas reached into his pocket and pulled out a checkbook. "I have a patient's bill that I'd like to pay in full. It's for my brother, Lucas Lorenzo Spencer, Junior."
"This is irregular," the manager stated as she turned towards her computer and typed. "Our financial transactions are handled by mail."
"I know," Nikolas stated impatiently as he shifted his feet. "But this is a special circumstance. So if you would help me, I'd appreciate it."
The account manager's eyebrows rose, and she squinted suspiciously at Nikolas. "This is quite a large bill," she said. "Don't tell me you're going to write a check for this amount."
"That's my intention," Nikolas said firmly. "Show me the balance." He selected a pen from her desktop penholder and poised his hand over his checkbook as he craned his neck to see the balance. Nodding, he began writing a six-figure amount onto the check.
"This will require an elaborate approvals procedure," the older woman warned with a tense tone of voice.
Nikolas ripped out the check and handed it to the woman. "Look at the signature," he said in a bored tone of voice. "The executor of my trust has already approved this. She's an attorney and my aunt. Shall I call her for you?" Nikolas looked down at the woman with his one eyebrow raised in challenge.
The woman's eyes migrated to the signature on the check, and her hand started shaking slightly. She hemmed and hawed around, and then managed to say, "That won't be necessary, Mr. Cassadine. Thank you very much for your attention to this matter. If there is anything else I can help you with…'
Nikolas waved her away and shook his head. "It's taken care of," he said and turned to walk away.
.