Chapter 112
Lucky pulled hard on his fifth cigarette, inhaling deeply. He dropped the butt to the concrete sidewalk, and extinguished it with his dressy black leather shoe. Nikolas did the same and then made a disgusted look.
"Look at the mess we've made," he stated, pointing at the ground littered with the remnants of cigarettes. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wedding napkin with Tony and Bobbie's names and the date embossed in silver. He delicately picked up the butts and carried them several yards away to a trash container while Lucky looked on with a bemused expression. Lucky raised his eyebrows and gave Nikolas a shrug of apology as he lit his sixth and final cigarette. He handed the pack to Nikolas who sighed and pulled out another one.
"I thought you were going on the patch," Lucky mumbled with the cigarette jumping between his full lips.
"How am I supposed to quit when my brother smokes up a storm?" Nikolas grumbled.
Lucky chuckled in disbelief. He pointed at himself with a thumb. "Me? You're the one who's been smoking for years. I just got hooked. Give me a break."
"Yeah, and you've outsmoked me every step of the way," Nikolas pointed out tersely, his black eyebrows knitting together into a frown. He ran a hand through his dark, silky hair and sighed. "I don't feel like quitting if it's around me all the time."
"Whatever," Lucky replied shortly. He turned away from his brother and pulled the smoke deeply into his lungs. His body flooded with relief at receiving a fresh influx of nicotine. Nikolas hand carried his next cigarette butt to the trash container, and Lucky shook his head. "Influence of Stefan?" he called out, referring to Nikolas' fastidious habits.
Nikolas' face clouded, and he nodded. "Something like that," he murmured.
Lucky threw his cigarette to the ground, and his blue eyes met Nikolas'. He pointed and said with a smirk, "Luke."
"Rebel without a cause?" Nikolas questioned.
Lucky cracked up. "Yeah. Something like that." Lucky raised his arm to his nose and sniffed. He frowned and then started hopping up and down waving his arms in sort of a jumping jacks break dance maneuver.
"What in the world are you doing?" Nikolas asked. "Why are you jumping around like that?"
"Smoke," Lucky gritted out in a breathy voice. "Aunt Bobbie will kill me if I go back in there with my suit all smoky smelling." He kept waving his arms around to keep the breezes blowing over his brand new suit and wondered why in the world he hadn't taken off his jacket in the first place in order to protect it.
Nikolas watched his tall, lanky younger brother flap his arms up and down as if he were going to take off and start flying. He sniffed at his own suit jacket and sighed as he took it off and began waving it in the wind.
"Settle down," Nikolas sputtered to his brother as Lucky spun in circles with his arms held out to his sides.
"No. I'm having too much fun," Lucky declared and then suddenly giggled when he felt dizzy and lost his balance, plopping onto the soft grassy hill that inclined up from the sidewalk. He lay still on the grass and continued laughing. "The grass feels good to me," he commented. He remained in a prone position and stared at the sky with his long fingers combing repeatedly through the green lushness of cut grass.
"Oh, what the heck." Nikolas carefully laid his folded suit jacket on the grass and sat back, inches apart from his brother. Nikolas leaned on his elbow and stared at Lucky.
"What?" Lucky asked abruptly when he caught his brother's gaze.
Nikolas pulled on a few strands of grass as he thought. "You seem happy about Emily," he said. "Is it going to work out?"
Lucky sat up stiffly and shrugged as his head bent down. "She invited me to her house for dinner on Wednesday night. I'm encouraged about that. It's going to be hard having 'the conversation' with her," Lucky said, making quotation marks with his fingers. "I'm surprised she showed up today. It gives me a lot of hope, though. She's been thinking about me. I can tell." Lucky's eyes took on a hazy aspect as he recalled his girlfriend's appearance and voice. His face screwed up as another thought ran through his mind. "I made a mistake with Elizabeth," he admitted, changing the subject as his face reddened and he glanced down to the ground.
"How so?" Nikolas knew how hard it was for Lucky to talk about his feelings, and he wanted to be encouraging yet distant enough to give his brother emotional space.
Lucky chewed on a thumbnail. "I made her my whole life, my reason for existing. It was wrong and not good for me or for her. It wasn't fair to either of us. She's only a person. She couldn't be responsible for keeping me alive or sane or sober."
"But you were so angry that she dumped you," Nikolas said, confused.
Lucky shrugged. "Yeah," he admitted. "I'm still mad at her. But I wasn't totally fair to her - that's what I'm saying. It's like I used her, you know? I scribbled her name in my own blood, Nikolas," Lucky held his hand up in the air and shakily traced invisible geometric symbols. He dropped his hand into his lap and made a choking sound as he hung his head. "When I was in the compound, I obsessed on her, acting like she was the one reason I should stay alive." He wrapped his arms around his legs, banging his chin on his raised knees.
"Then I'm glad you had her," Nikolas said firmly and without hesitation. "I may be selfish, but I'm grateful you're alive and home now. If you had to think about Elizabeth to help you through your kidnapping, then so be it."
"But was it right? When I came back, I couldn't relate to her like before. Hell, I was scared of my own shadow. She couldn't handle how standoffish I was. I took the drugs they gave me in the hospital, but I was still in a bad way. I couldn't communicate very well. Dammit, Nikolas, I don't know. Is the same thing going to happen with Emily? Am I going to lose her because I'm damaged goods?"
Nikolas looked down at the ground while he composed his thoughts. "First of all, Lucky, weren't you damaged goods to some extent when you hooked up with Emily romantically? She found you almost dead in the park. That's what you said. And she stuck by you every step of the way. She remained with you through the drugs and alcohol, the pneumonia, suicide attempts and flashbacks."
Lucky nodded slowly and looked hopefully at his brother. "Yes. She did."
"And here she is giving you a chance to explain yourself to her - a second chance most likely. I'd say that Emily is a unique, special person who is very loyal, and mostly importantly, a girl who loves you quite a lot."
"But I'm afraid to tell her everything about me," Lucky said. "What if it's the last straw, and she can't handle anymore? What if it makes her fall out of love with me?"
"That's the chance you have to take," Nikolas countered. "She either accepts you as you are or moves on. There's no other way. But think of the good possibilities, what you might gain by being honest with her."
Lucky's eyes flickered. "Maybe I'm displacing some of my own feelings onto her. I don't like myself because of what happened to me, so I think she'll feel the same."
"That's entirely possible," Nikolas agreed. "I don't feel any differently about you after finding out. In fact, it makes me feel like I know you better and can understand you. I admire you for overcoming the odds and meeting your challenges."
"You sound like a philosopher, Nikolas," Lucky sighed. "You're so formal sometimes."
"That's me, and you love me for it, right?" Nikolas raised an eyebrow.
Lucky snorted. "Sure. I love my brother. Although he kind of sounds like a textbook."
~*~*~*~
"Frisco?"
Tony pulled his brother aside, walking with him away from the other wedding guests and looking at him worriedly as he spoke in a low voice. "Is there any word on Faison?"
Frisco's face tensed, and he shook his head slightly. "No movement. He's in Canada. We're still waiting on him."
"Dammit, Frisco! Nothing can happen to Lucky. I insist on that. The boy is like a son to me. I don't want Faison anywhere near him."
"We want Faison to make a move so we can put him away, Tony," Frisco said in an irritable voice. He looked around to make sure no one was listening to their conversation. "There's no other way to bring him down for his crimes. We've already discussed that."
Tony's face grew red. "Well, maybe I don't care if Faison goes down for his crimes. I just want him to stay away from Lucky."
Frisco shook his head. "He won't. That's not his M.O. We need to catch him in the act - for Lucky's safety."
Tony replied angrily, "What safety? He's been in a mental ward for six months because of that maniac. Faison is responsible for the boy's suffering. I won't have Lucky hurt again - for any reason. We're clear on that, aren't we?"
"Perfectly clear," Frisco answered. "I don't want Lucky harmed either."
"See to it that he isn't," Tony replied shortly. "This isn't just another WSB assignment. This is family. Lucky is Bobbie's and my nephew, and you're my brother. I want both of you safe."
"Don't worry about me," Frisco answered peevishly. "I can take care of myself." He reached his hand to smooth his soft, blond hair and whisk a stray strand from his eyes.
Tony reached out and grabbed Frisco's arm. "You're not indestructible, Frisco. You're human like the rest of us." Tony's eyes bored into Frisco's.
"Sure about that?" Frisco answered lightly as he pulled his arm away. His tone was jaunty, but his face betrayed his pain as he glanced at his two daughters from the sides of his eyes.
Tony noted the distress that lingered on his brother's features and backed down. He lightly punched Frisco on the shoulder. "Positive. You're related to me so you must be human."
~*~*~*~
Something was bothering Frisco. It was indefinable, a sheer tiredness that wasn't a result of physical exertion. He felt weighed down by life. It was like a net of weariness fell over him and dragged him down and under. He took a sip of his soda and made a face. He was used to an occasional vodka with his 7-UP, but this was a no alcohol reception.
It's just a job to do, Frisco reminded himself. Why am I feeling so weird all of a sudden? I've taken every precaution with this mission. Frisco pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and dialed in a code number. He waited and then spoke into the phone in a low, intense voice. "This mission is high priority. Put two more men on surveillance. Call me every hour and notify me immediately if he moves an inch. Now what have they been doing? Having a smorgasbord? Laughing and talking. Okay." Frisco sighed and hung up the phone. The man likes to play games.
Frisco looked over at Tony and Bobbie when he heard their happy laughter. Tony and Bobbie were standing by the punch bowl and talking to Kevin and Lucy. Lucy was obviously telling them an animated story, waving her arms around for emphasis and swaying from side to side in imitation of something or someone.
He's changed. Tony is so much more alive than the last time we saw each other. Frisco recalled the once a month letters that he always received from his brother. Last year, Tony had started writing about Lucky, beginning with his outrage over an entire family's neglect of the kid. Tony had a few choice words for Bobbie at that time, disgusted by her refusal to deal with the issues. Lucky had shown up in Tony's clinic more dead than alive, and from that time on, Tony had taken on the role of Lucky's protector and defender. Tony is a rescuer. He needs to be needed. But, he has his own needs, and Bobbie seems to be perfect for him. They're good partners.
Frisco stroked his chin thoughtfully and looked around the room. Tony never got over losing BJ. Her death sucked him into a black hole that he was never able to escape. He closed down and shut everyone out, and I've felt guilty ever since because my own daughter is alive and happy while my niece died in a senseless way.
"Frisco."
Frisco's eyes sharpened when he heard her voice. "Felicia," he answered in his slow, languorous way. He smiled. "How are you?"
Felicia smiled in return and folded her hands behind her back. "Fine. Wonderful. Busy. How are you?"
"Busy," Frisco answered a bit too abruptly. He looked down at his nails, uneasy with the personal conversation even though it was merely polite banter.
"I wanted to check if you were coming over to the house later on. You mentioned five 'o clock, didn't you? The girls will be thrilled to spend some time with you."
Frisco brightened at the prospect of seeing his daughters. "Oh yes," he said. "I'll be there. Couldn't keep me away. I'll take them to dinner and a movie. Back by ten. Is that all right?"
Felicia nodded and darted her eyes over to Mac, who was standing near the cake and receiving a second piece from the caterer. Frisco noticed the movement of her eyes toward Mac and colored. "If it's okay with you, I'll come back in the morning and take Maxie and Georgie out for brunch before I leave on Sunday."
"The more time you can spend with them, the better," Felicia agreed, her dimples deepening as she smiled. Frisco's eyes softened at Felicia's kindness and the way that her complexion seemed to sparkle with the pink of her dress.
"You're staying with Bobbie and Tony, right?" Felicia questioned curiously.
Frisco nodded. "Yeah. I'm bunking with Lucky."
"How's that going?" Felicia asked. "I often talk to Bobbie about Lucky, but is he okay?" Felicia trusted Frisco's judgment concerning human behavior.
Frisco shrugged. He was extra careful to appear nonchalant as he didn't want Felicia to figure out that he was on a mission concerning Lucky Spencer. She was so good at reading his moods and thoughts. "He's in-between," Frisco conceded. "Sometimes he seems perfectly fine, fun to talk to, and other times he's just off. It'll take time."
Felicia nodded. "He's going through a lot of changes now. Bobbie and Tony have been so good for him. They've been right there by his side all the way. They deserve a lot of happiness."
"They sure do," Frisco agreed as his eyes swept toward his brother. "Lucky is more like a son to them than a nephew. Lucky's been good for them."
Felicia's eyes brightened. "You know, that's what I've been thinking as well. I've been real close to Bobbie during this time, and I noticed that helping Lucky has given her a new energy or zest for life. The changes in Tony are amazing. It's like the more they've invested in Lucky, the happier they've become. And the addition of Lulu to the family has been just as positive."
"Life is interesting," Frisco commented, trying to create distance where the gap had been narrowed as he talked to his ex-wife.
Felicia noticed the chill and gave Frisco a small smile. "I'd better be getting back," she said breezily. I'll see you tonight at five."
Frisco nodded but watched her as she walked back to Mac and the wedding cake. He slumped against the wall and sighed.
~*~*~*~
Nikolas and Lucky were lying flat on their backs, looking up at the sky and feeling mellow. Lucky's mind was blank, but out of nowhere Nikolas spoke up.
"I noticed that you seem to like brunettes," he said. "Elizabeth and Emily are brunettes."
"Yeah," Lucky confirmed. "I don't have a type really. It depends on the person whether or not I find them attractive. Personality is important to me. I mean, a girl has to turn me on, be sexy and all that, but I like different types."
"Mhmm," Nikolas said as he still was lost in thought. "I seem to go for blondes. Every girl I've been with has been blonde."
Lucky snorted. "I guess that's true. Let's see, there was Sarah, the bimbo in the Jag, the older woman who shall remain nameless, Monique...what about the rest of the club, the tart of the month club?"
"Blondes," Nikolas confirmed. "Hey, you were after Sarah, too, I recall."
"Nah," Lucky denied, shaking his head. "I just wanted her because you did. I wanted to take her away from you."
"True confession frees the soul?" Nikolas said. "You weren't very nice back then."
"Not to you," Lucky replied. "You got on my nerves, encroached on my territory."
"Was our mother your territory?" Nikolas questioned. He recalled an early encounter with Lucky when his brother had hugged their mother and stroked her hair as he glared at Nikolas.
Lucky remained silent for a moment as he processed Nikolas' words. "I guess so. In a way. You have to remember I was an only child for years before Lulu came. I was the older brother. I didn't want you to take my place."
"But you had a mother. I didn't."
"And there's the problem," Lucky sputtered angrily. "Why do you keep wishing for someone that's no good? I don't understand you. Is that why you keep after all those blondes, especially the older ones? Are you looking for Laura?" he asked snidely.
"That's what I was wondering," Nikolas replied sadly. "Maybe I have a few issues of my own to work out."
"If you still want our mother, you sure do," Lucky said irritably. "Besides, she's not really a blonde anyway. She dyes her hair to get it to look like that. Her real hair color darkened to a light brown color, like mine."
"And that's my point. You know so much more about our mother than I do. I didn't even realize that she dyed her hair."
"So what?" Lucky countered. "Did you think I was so happy to know her habits and personality quirks when I opened up the gift certificate to the gun range? Was I feeling satisfied when I slit my own wrist open? Was I ever so grateful when I was being abused by her boyfriends? Spare me, Nikolas. I don't know if I'll ever stop hearing that bitch laughing in my head. I hate her. Lock her up and throw away the key. Good riddance." Lucky's face took on a drawn appearance.
"So what's worse? Abuse or neglect?" Nikolas asked in a low voice.
Lucky hesitated before answering. "They're different. That's all. They're both bad, but you can't compare them." Lucky sat up and looked hard at his brother. "Nikolas. If you keep thinking about what might have been, you'll drive yourself crazy. All you can change is today and be happy for what you have now."
"You've been hanging around Kevin too long. I can tell," Nikolas muttered.
Lucky shook his head in bewilderment and scrunched up his face. "Damn! Now he has me imitating him."
~*~*~*~
"Mama!" Bobbie turned around and fell into a huge hug with her daughter. Carly beamed at her, and she gave her mother a genuine smile. "Are you happy? You look like a million dollars."
"I feel wonderful," Bobbie agreed with a nod and a laugh. "It's good to see you here. You weren't sure if you'd come. I see you left Michael at the sitter."
Carly looked down and shifted her feet. "Michael's a little young for social events. He tends to talk when he should be quiet. I didn't want him to be telling a story about his truck when you were trying to say I do."
Bobbie's eyes directed toward a table near the door. "Jason doesn't look content to be here. I don't think he's smiled once."
Carly's face betrayed her frustration with her mother's continual disapproval over her romantic choices. "He's in a snit over Lucky dissing him in the reception line. You know men and their testosterone challenges."
"Those two aren't showing any signs of making up, are they?"
Carly sighed. "Jason holds grudges. It isn't just about Lucky." Her eyes filled with a few tears, but she bit her lip and blinked them away. She looked around the room. "I'm trying to be more, oh, I don't know, live and let live. It seems better for everybody."
Bobbie sensed her wistfulness. She rubbed Carly's arm and gave her a small smile. "You deserve to be happy, too, daughter of mine. I was thrilled when you left Sonny, but is Jason a good choice for you?"
Carly's face screwed up with a sudden influx of anger and willfulness. "I don't criticize your taste in men, so don't badmouth mine. You're not so perfect yourself. At least I haven't been married seven times."
Bobbie bit her tongue when she really was in the mood to give Carly a piece of her mind. She counted to ten before replying. "No, I'm grateful you haven't made the mistakes that I have. I just want you to think long and hard about what you deserve and who will give you the love and peace of mind that you need. If you decide that's Jason, then I'm behind you all the way."
Carly blinked back tears for the second time and smiled. "Thanks," she said. "Jason is really trying. He's left the business, and Michael's ecstatic that he's living with us." Mother and daughter hugged again. "Maybe we can have lunch sometime?" Carly asked brightly. "I'd stop by the Victorian more often, but you know how it is." Carly's eyes darted toward Tony, and she colored slightly.
"Yeah, I know," Bobbie said softly. "You're welcome anytime, you know that. But let's have lunch next week after I return back to work."
"Okay, Mama," Carly said with a trace of awkwardness. "I'll call you."
~*~*~*~
"Let's take a walk around the block before we head back in," Lucky suggested. He rose from his sitting position and brushed off his new outfit. He held a hand to his head and shook it. "I feel hot," he said wearily.
Nikolas looked at him closely and remembered Tony's instructions concerning Lucky's medications. "You've been outside too long perhaps. It's easy to get overheated with some of your medications. We can go inside now and find a cold soda for you."
"Good grief!" Lucky exclaimed as he frowned at his brother and held his hands on his hips. "Everyone wants to be my mother except for the real one."
Nikolas mentally rolled his eyes, recalling Tony's warning that Lucky could be a handful. Guess Lucky has a point, though. I imagine having everyone watching over you is a pain.
~*~*~*~
"Look at all of this!" Bobbie picked up two bottles of expensive champagne that were nestled in the back seat of Tony's car.
"Those are a gift from Marcus Taggert. He has good taste. He didn't want to bring the champagne into a dry reception."
"Do you think it bothered anyone that we didn't serve alcohol?" Bobbie questioned. "I decided I wouldn't entertain with alcohol. It just isn't necessary, and we have alcoholic family members, so why do it?"
Tony nodded. "The wedding and reception were early in the afternoon. No one missed it I'm sure. If they did, they can go to a bar later." Tony reached into his suit jacket and produced an envelope. "I know where we're going to dinner tonight," he said in a teasing voice. "Our nephew gave us a wonderful wedding gift."
"Where!?" Bobbie asked with dancing eyes and a hand that darted out to grab the envelope away from Tony. She opened it and pulled out four certificates. "Wow," she said excitedly. "Dinner at the Sleight of Hand. I've heard so many raves about that place. And, look. He bought us certificates for several dinners. What a thoughtful gift."
Tony pulled Bobbie into his arms with a swift move that elicited a squeal of surprise from his new wife. He dipped her low and planted a huge kiss on her lips. Husband and wife giggled. "Let's go, Mrs. Spencer-Jones! We have a honeymoon waiting for us."
"Saddle up the horses," Bobbie laughed as she slid into the passenger seat of the car. "Romance me, big guy."
.