Devolution TOC

Chapter 121

Salvation is of the Lord: and thy blessing is upon thy people

Nikolas shepherded Lucas and Lulu into his office to wait for Tony. His broken arm was reminding him of its presence with a throbbing regularity, and he was developing a pounding tension headache. He looked at his watch. Alexis should be there to pick him up in about twenty minutes, and Tony was going to take a breather to call Bobbie and reassure her.

"Lucas, why don't you carry your snack over to the table in the conference area? There's a nature magazine you can read. It's on the shelf behind you. I want to talk to Lulu for a moment." Nikolas sat down in his executive chair with a tired sigh.

"Cool!" Lucas exclaimed as he examined Nikolas' office and bounced on the leather sofa, stuffing his hand into a bag of Cheetos that Nikolas had bought him from the machine. "I like this office." He craned his neck around to take in the whole view. "Are you my dad's boss? That's what the CEO does, isn't it? You're kind of young to be a boss, aren't you?"

"That depends," Nikolas replied as he helped Lulu onto his lap and enfolded her with his uninjured arm. She leaned her head against her brother's chest and closed her eyes contentedly. It had been a long day for her as well, and she was tired after the excitement of visiting Lucky. "I inherited the position when my uncle died. It works that way sometimes. I don't consider myself to be Tony's direct boss; it's more of an administrative position, the CEO." Nikolas leaned his chin lightly against Lulu's dark, shiny hair and took a moment to choose his words carefully.

"Lulu," he said in a low voice as he stroked her long hair. "Will you talk to me for a minute about Lucky? I want to ask you a few questions."

Lulu turned around to direct her inquisitive blue eyes at Nikolas, and then settled back against his chest. "Okay," she agreed.

Nikolas cleared his throat as his face took on a sad aspect. "Back in Lucky's room, you mentioned a few details about when he returned from the angels as you put it. I want to know what you meant when you said that Mommy was mean to him. What exactly did she do?"

Lulu remained silent for a moment as she hesitated and shifted uneasily in Nikolas' lap. "Mommy doesn't like it when I talk about things. She said we're supposed to keep it to ourselves."

Nikolas hugged Lulu and replied, "I'm your big brother. You can tell me anything you want to - anytime or anyplace. Do you understand? It's safe to talk to me. I want you to talk to me. Okay?"

Lulu nodded and looked down at Nikolas' desk as her small fingers played with his desk blotter. "Okay," she said in a soft voice. "I'll tell you."

"What happened when Lucky returned home?" Nikolas prompted. "You said something about closets and basements."

Lulu nodded solemnly. "Mommy was happy at first that Lucky wasn't with the angels anymore, but Lucky made her mad. He didn't act like my brother when he came home. He was scary. Nobody could figure out what he'd do or say. Everyone was upset, even Daddy." Lulu stopped and ran her finger under her nose to stop an approaching sniffles attack. She shrugged. "I didn't mind. I was glad he was back, and I could help him. I was little, but I knew he was scared, so I said things that helped. I tried to be a big girl."

Nikolas stroked Lulu's hair again. "I can tell you were a big girl. You're a very nice sister, Lulu." Nikolas' heart sank as he continued to listen to his sister. This glimpse of Lucky's return from the mouth of his sister affected him more than Lucky's telling of the tale and helped make it more real to him.

"Lucky was gone for awhile. He was in the hospital like he always is," Lulu informed her brother. "He took a lot of pills when he came back - he took them at every meal - I remember because Mommy was always mad about them. I don't know why. She screamed at him, but I didn't understand. When Daddy was gone at work, she was meaner. She hit him a lot - mostly on the face and back when she was yelling. Lucky always looked sad and upset." She sighed and cast her eyes down. "He still does."

"Do you remember what she said?" Nikolas asked softly.

"She was mad because she couldn't leave him alone or take him to Aunt Bobbie's like she did with me. She never said, but I knew why she was mad. She couldn't see Uncle Stefan if Lucky was there."

Nikolas' stomach clenched, and he felt woozy. "What else did she do?" he whispered.

"Lucky would hide in the closet sometimes if he was upset or she hit him too much. Mommy locked him in a couple of times, and he'd get even more upset. He'd scream and cry and bang on the door. Then he'd be quiet for a long time." Lulu paused and took in a deep breath as her eyes filled with tears. She turned toward Nikolas and wrapped her arms around his neck as she cried silently on his shoulder. "Mommy wouldn't let him out. I tried to once, but I got in trouble. I was afraid to after that."

"And what about the basement?" Nikolas asked as he patted her on the back.

"She was going to take me to Aunt Bobbie's, so she locked Lucky in the basement because he couldn't come with me. She didn't want to leave him alone in the rest of the house. She said he might do something bad. I think he was in there all day. He was still there when Daddy brought me home from Aunt Bobbie's. Daddy wanted to know why that door was locked. I told him I did it."

"Why, Lulu?"

"What if Mommy lied when she came home? Then Daddy would be mad at Lucky, too."

"What did your daddy do?"

"He unlocked the door and went down the stairs to look for something. He was gone a long time. I think he found Lucky. Lucky wouldn't move. It took Daddy a long time. He pulled him up the steps. Lucky looked like he'd gone away. He was like that a lot. If I talked to him, he wouldn't talk back. Daddy made Lucky drink from the bottle because he was upset. I didn't like the stinky stuff. When Daddy drank it, he'd smell bad and fall asleep on the couch. He did that every night when Lucky was with the angels." Lulu held a finger to her lips as she thought more. "Oh! Mommy stopped hitting Lucky when he started yelling back at her. They had big fights. Lots of shouting. But he was more scared when he first came home."

"Thanks for telling me, Lulu," Nikolas said softly. "Lucky has a hard time remembering, and it helps to know what happened. You know that if someone ever tries to hurt you, even a mommy or daddy, you need to tell an adult, someone you trust. You know that, don't you?"

Lulu nodded wisely. "Aunt Bobbie and Uncle Tony told me that a bunch of times. I won't forget." She looked nervous. "Nikky, I didn't do wrong, did I? I didn't tell anyone about Lucky. Nobody asked me."

"It's okay," Nikolas answered as he gave her another hug. "You did well by telling me when I asked."

~*~*~*~

"Nikolas, I can't thank you enough for taking care of the kids," Tony exclaimed as he slapped him on the back. "You're a lifesaver. Bobbie's feeling calmer now."

"They sure shocked me when I saw them standing outside of the door to the restricted area of the ward," Nikolas laughed. "They're little devils." He cleared his throat and ran a hand over his sore arm. "I need to talk to you privately, Tony. Maybe you can give me a call when things settle down at home. I have some information that you might want to know."

Tony studied Nikolas' serious face and felt a sense of trepidation. "Okay. I'll call you later on tonight. I want you to rest this evening. Sit on the couch, put your feet up. You look beat. That was a serious break. You need time to heal."

Nikolas gave him a small smile. "I think we all do."

~*~*~*~

"This has been the day from hell," Nikolas stated wearily as he eased himself into the tan leather passenger's seat of Alexis' BMW.

"I thought that was yesterday and the day before," Alexis stated with curiosity. "Why such a bad day today? You're going home. I thought you'd be celebrating."

"Correction. Going to the hotel. I don't have a home anymore, remember?"

"It's a temporary measure," Alexis explained. "We'll find a good realtor for you. You'll be in property again in no time."

Nikolas leaned back against the headrest. "It's not that. I'm worried about Lucky. I saw him today. He's not doing well. He's still in that psychosis - delusions, hallucinations, whatever you want to call them. Plus, I spoke to Lulu at length in my office before you came for me. Apparently Laura abused Lucky almost immediately after he returned. She hit him, locked him in closets, the basement..."

"That's awful!"

"My sentiments exactly."

"What's wrong with that woman? Can't they find a way to execute her? Maybe I can do some pro bono work for the state. Give them a few tips; point them in the right direction."

Nikolas smiled briefly. "I know you're trying to make me laugh so I'll feel better, but it's not working. At least she'll be in prison for many years to come."

"It's shocking, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Spencers and Cassadines," Alexis whispered. "I suppose neither family can throw stones at the other one. They both have a lot to account for."

"Agreed," Nikolas said without emotion. "Time to bury the hatchet as Lucky and I did. No more feuds. Hell, there's nothing left. We've destroyed one another."

"You have your relationship with Lucky and Lulu," Alexis pointed out.

"Yes I do, and I hold them close to my heart. Tony and Bobbie, too."

"Why am I feeling nervous as I'm looking at your face?" Alexis asked. "I see a glint of determination in your eyes."

"That's because I have something to do, something I must lay to rest," Nikolas explained, sounding hauntingly like his uncle.

Alexis stopped at a traffic light and focused her full attention on her nephew. "And that is?"

"It's time to fire up the Cassadine jet again," Nikolas stated decidedly without further elaborating on his plans.

~*~*~*~

Later that evening...

"I want to take a shower," Lucky announced after he'd swallowed his evening medications and had eaten with only a moderate amount of assistance. He pulled at his gown with irritation and spread his fingers through his disheveled hair, making it look worse than before.

Joe looked at him with his arms crossed and sighed. And here I thought this was going to be a quiet shift. I have a bad feeling about this. "It's 7PM. Why do you want a shower now? Can it wait until morning? The nurse cleaned you up earlier, and I'm not sure it's good for you to be mobile if you have pneumonia."

Lucky rose up to a slumped position near the edge of the bed. He watched his feet kicking lightly, never connecting to any solid object, just floating back and forth in the air. "My feet are cold," Lucky grumbled.

Joes' eyes creased in the corners with his amusement. "Then why don't you place your legs and feet back on the bed under the warm blanket?" He's coming around a little, Joe thought as he crossed his well-muscled arms and leaned back in his chair while speculatively evaluating Lucky's comments and demeanor. He's accepting his food and medications with minimal fuss, and he's noticing his own physical reactions. Noticeable improvement over yesterday. Joe was a regular with the patients pegged as violent upon their arrival at the locked ward. His large size deterred some assaults and intervened with others, but he also had a calm manner and easygoing disposition that made him a favorite with both staff and patients.

Lucky didn't reply and merely dangled his feet while he hummed tunelessly. He coughed harshly and swayed precipitously to one side.

"How are you feeling?" Joe asked with concern.

"Sick," Lucky replied shortly without elaborating.

"Do you need the nurse?"

Lucky shook his head. "No," he replied softly as he continued to dangle his feet.

"Let's wait until James returns to determine whether or not you can take a shower," Joe decided. "It'll take two of us to help you since you have the IV and aren't too steady on your feet." Actually, the hospital policy was two on one for patients with a history of violent assault on staff, but Joe couched the words in an easier fashion.

Lucky remained silent as if he hadn't heard Joes' words. He aimlessly brushed his arms with a light touch of his hand and continued concentrating on his feet. He started rocking back and forth slightly as his level of anxiety rose with the monologue in his head. I have to pretend I'm alive. That's what Nikolas said. If I take a shower, I can wash these worms off of me, and they'll drown. Dead people don't take showers. I have to take a shower. Lucky glanced up at Joe and frowned. What if he won't let me go? His head whipped around as James entered the room and interrupted his thought processes.

Joe pointed toward Lucky. "Mr. Spencer wants to take a shower this evening. He's not feeling well, but thinks he'd improve if he cleaned up. Is that right?"

Lucky nodded. "I want to take a shower."

"If we help you with your shower, will you promise to stay in bed after that and get some sleep? You look a little green around the gills."

Lucky encircled his throat with his hands and frowned. "I don't have any gills," he said plainly.

James cracked up. "I like that. You're a funny guy," he smiled. "I'll help you out if Joe gets some clean sheets for the bed. That should help you sleep better tonight."

Joe groaned as he stood up from the chair and cracked his knuckles. Joe took another look at Lucky and decided that he seemed calm enough to leave with one person. "You're a task master, James. I'll be back in a minute."

Lucky stood up shakily from the bed as James held him up with one hand and maneuvered the IV pole with his other hand. He took off Lucky's oxygen apparatus and clucked. "They've got you hooked worse than a trout," he exclaimed in a merry tone. Lucky coughed hard and slipped momentarily from James' grasp.

"Whoa there! I need another pair of hands. Let's wait until Joe returns." Lucky was seated in a chair and laid his head back while they waited. He ran his hand wearily over his creased forehead as he muttered what sounded like a reply. James turned to him, but soon discovered that Lucky wasn't speaking to him. Lucky let out a small, exasperated sound and hit his head repeatedly with a balled fist.

"Hey!" James said calmly as he took Lucky's hand. "No hitting, okay?" James reviewed Lucky's appearance. "Are you hearing voices?" he asked carefully.

Lucky's face scrunched up with emotional pain, and he nodded. "Nikolas said Faison was in prison. I think I believe him, and now Faison's gone out of my head."

"That's good, isn't it?" James prompted.

"I don't know," Lucky replied tearfully. He took in several gulping breaths and added, "I don't have a spirit of fear," in a distant tone. He rubbed hard on his arms. "I want a shower."

"Joe's back. Hey, Joe, I need a hand here. He's unsteady on his feet, and I can't manage him and the IV pole both."

Joe threw the clean sheets on the bed and assisted James in lifting Lucky from the chair. "You be sure to tell James if you feel faint or need help. We want you to be careful. Okay?"

"Yeah," Lucky agreed. He took small steps like an old man and grimaced as he held a hand to his aching chest. He was dying to cough but didn't want to be forced back to bed before he washed up. Once in the bathroom, James turned the water on in the shower and adjusted the temperature to a safe, warm level. He positioned the IV pole close enough to the shower so Lucky could use his arm to bathe.

Lucky stood under the spray of the shower and imagined the rivulets of water running off the worms and cleaning his skin. He soaped up especially vigorously and hoped that the lather had some effect on them. The feel of the water running over his skin did nothing to dissuade his mind from its conviction concerning his death and subsequent infestation, however. Lucky felt them moving over his body, and he was helpless under the steady assault. He despaired that he couldn't come alive no matter how hard he tried. He scrubbed his arms and legs until they became first pink, then red and raw in some places. He stopped the frenetic motion of his hands and nails, mesmerized when he saw small dots of blood on his forearm.

"Is everything okay in there?" James questioned. "You've been in there a long time."

"Okay," Lucky said with a small voice. "I can't get them off." He stiffened when he heard the tinkle of her laughter in his mind, and he dropped the soap with a thud. "Quit laughing," he commanded the hallucination.

"No laughter here," James replied from his seated position on top of the toilet. "Hurry up and finish so you can go back to bed."

Lucky's mouth opened and eyes widened as he turned around in the shower, at a loss for the fear that unexpectantly crept up on him as memories of being in the compound flooded his consciousness. "I don't have the spirit of fear," he whispered to himself. He reached out and tentatively touched the cold tile of the shower with shaking fingertips as he hung his head. It's your fault, Lucky. "No, no," he cried. He whirled around too quickly when he was startled by James' voice near the shower.

"I have your towel and a new gown," James said. "Let's go."

Lucky felt his world darken and spin away from him as he instinctively reached out a hand toward the shower curtain to break his certain fall.

James' quick reactions prevented Lucky from hitting the hard surface of the shower floor. He leaped into the shower, one foot in and one foot out, and wrapped an arm around Lucky's chest mid-fall. "Joe!" he shouted over his shoulder. Joe ran to the room, immediately assessed the situation and turned off the shower. He laid a towel on the floor, and James placed an unconscious Lucky on his side as Joe used the other towel to dry him off before slipping a clean gown on him - all within ten seconds. "Go get the nurse," he directed to James. "I'll carry him to the bed."

Joe easily lifted Lucky's weight over his shoulder and carried him to the freshly made up bed while managing his still connected IV. Lucky was lying on his left side with Joe holding two fingers over his neck pulse. "Lucky," he said loudly, but couldn't rouse him. It sounded like Lucky was wheezing, so Joe looped the oxygen under Lucky's nose again and reconnected the pulse oximeter. Damn it. I knew he needed to stay in bed. I'm a sucker sometimes.

"Why did you let him up to take a shower?" the nurse crabbed as she marched into the room with the swiftness of her white, crepe soled shoes.

"You try keeping him in bed when he's determined to get up," Joe retorted, his nerves frazzled from recent events.

"How long has he been like this?" the nurse questioned as she wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Lucky's limp arm.

"One minute?" James guessed. He rolled his eyes and shrugged. "He was fine, and then boom."

"That's generally how it works," the nurse replied shortly. "His blood pressure is low. It might have been his medication. His chart indicates a history of that. If he doesn't wake in a minute, we'll have to find the on-call physician. The blame is on you, fellas."

As if on cue, Lucky moaned and moved his arms and legs as his eyelids fluttered open. "Dizzy," he breathed out.

The nurse took his blood pressure again and announced, "His bp is rising. It was the medication." She looked sternly at a confused, non-focused Lucky. "Don't get up again," she ordered. "You're ill. You need to stay in bed."

"Back off," Lucky gritted out with his eyes flashing at the nurse's tone.

Joe glanced over the nurse's head to James who was trying hard not to laugh. You go, kid. What a bitchy nurse. Joe smirked and shook his head. Yep. The kid is coming back to life.

~*~*~*~

Tony walked into the master bedroom and laid a tray on the carved, cherry wood nightstand next to the bed. The tray was laden with tea biscuits, orange marmalade, and a hot, steaming pot of the chamomile herbal tea that Bobbie favored. His eyes registered concern as he looked at his wife. "Don't get up," he said as he placed a gentle hand on her arm. "I'll take care of everything. I want you to rest. You had quite a shock."

Bobbie lay back down and sighed, "You did, too, sweetheart."

"I know, but I didn't come home to a house with a police cruiser parked outside and missing children inside. That was terrible for you."

"You've got that right," Bobbie agreed as a slow smile crossed her face. She glanced over at the nightstand and chuckled. "Tony Jones, you really went all out. I've never known you to make a pot of tea."

"That may explain the odd taste then," Tony said wryly with an apologetic look on his face. "The package didn't have any instructions - I tried my best." He quickly poured a cup for his wife and held it out to her.

Bobbie accepted the tea and took a tentative sip. "It's marvelous. Thanks so much. You're a sweetie."

Tony sat down on the bed and squeezed her leg. "And you're a cutie."

Bobbie bust out laughing. "Oh, that's right. I forgot. We're newlyweds, aren't we?"

Tony let a lascivious grin capture his face. "You betcha, hotstuff."

"Are the children okay?" Bobbie asked, changing the subject. She began to look worried again, forgetting the relaxed moment with her husband.

Tony nodded. "They're in bed asleep. After talking to you, they started yawning constantly in front of the television. They didn't protest when I suggested an early bedtime."

Bobbie nodded. "That's good.

"I spoke with Nikolas a few minutes ago," Tony said casually. He'd wondered if he should keep this news to himself, but decided that honesty was best. However, Bobbie seemed so worn out, as if she'd been through the wringer.

"How is his arm? Did you thank him again for looking after Lucas and Lulu?"

"Nikolas is doing fine. I keep thanking him profusely. He'll be sick of hearing me say it," Tony stated with a chuckle. "Um, he talked to Lulu while he was waiting for me, and she told him something interesting. I think we should pass it on to Kevin."

Bobbie's eyes widened in alarm. "What?" she breathed out as she set her tea back on the tray.

Tony cleared his throat and looked nervous, much to Bobbie's dismay. "Well, it's about when Lucky returned home from the kidnapping. Lulu described some abusive scenes between Laura and Lucky with Laura being the perpetrator of course."

"What did that evil woman do?" Bobbie said forcefully. She adjusted her red, silk robe tighter around her torso and shifted angrily on the bed. "I'm not going to like this."

Tony looked down at the bed and continued. "She grew tired of the responsibility of caring for her son quite soon after he returned apparently. You remember Lucky's descriptions of what happened in his first days home and his brief hospitalization. When Luke was gone from the house, Laura would become upset because she couldn't leave Lucky alone to go on one of her trysts with Stefan. She had you babysitting Lulu, but they were still keeping Lucky's problems a secret. Bobbie, she yelled at him a lot, that I suppose we could figure out on our own. But, she also hit him."

"When he'd already been abused at the compound?" Bobbie retorted angrily. She crossed her arms and fumed. Her brown eyes brightened with the fire that burned within her. "I despise that woman."

"Well, join the club," Tony said mildly. "Anyway, Lulu said that Lucky sometimes hid from the rest of them - often in a closet. Laura locked him in the closet at times - out of frustration with his behavior I guess. Lulu said he shouted and screamed at first, but then he'd grow quiet and stay that way. Bobbie, I think this abusive treatment of him was exactly the worst thing that Laura could have done to him given his illnesses."

Bobbie didn't say anything, but her lips tightened into a thin, white line as she listened to Tony.

Tony sighed. "There's more." He reached out his right hand to nervously fiddle with the bedspread. "Lulu said that Laura locked Lucky in the basement one time when she wanted to meet Stefan. She took Lulu over to the brownstone and just left him there by himself all day. When Luke returned home with Lulu, she falsely confessed to being the one that locked him in there because she said she knew her mommy would lie to her daddy to get Lucky in trouble."

"Oh no," Bobbie whispered. "She's hurt Lulu in so many ways, too."

Tony nodded sadly. "Luke found him but had a hard time getting him up and out of there. Lulu said he looked like he was gone, that he'd been like that a lot. He wouldn't answer when she talked to him. Nikolas said it broke his heart how matter of factly she related this, as if it were the most normal thing. Lulu said she was trying to be a big girl, that she knew her brother was scared, and she could say things to help him. Isn't that sad?"

Bobbie nodded as her eyes pooled with tears and her lips quivered. She reached out to Tony who pulled her into a tight hug and rubbed her back as she cried. Bobbie separated from her husband and wiped at her eyes with the cuff of her sleeve. "Why didn't Lulu tell anyone?"

Tony shrugged. "She said no one asked. She didn't volunteer because Laura didn't want her to talk about the family."

"Oh yeah," Bobbie said fiercely. "I bet she didn't."

"There's one more thing. Nikolas said the last time he visited Lucky, he was crying out in his sleep. Nikolas thinks he's dreaming about it, and that he might be remembering more details. Also, Nikolas was certain that one of the voices Lucky was hearing was female. I know Kevin said that Lucky was still unclear about some points in time. We should tell Kevin about this."

~*~*~*~

Next morning...

Ian Thornhart knocked on the doorjamb and entered Lucky's room. Lucky was slowly eating his breakfast after he'd earlier watched a psych tech sample each item to ensure it was wholesome and not tainted with poison.

"Hi there, kiddo," Ian said jovially as he pulled up a chair. "I had to see you with my own eyes." He smiled as his eyes twinkled. "You're looking very much improved from the last time I saw you in the ER."

"I'm in there a lot," Lucky agreed seriously. "I need to stop that."

Ian chuckled and leaned back in his chair with his hands folded behind his head as he reviewed Lucky's appearance. Lucky appeared drawn and ill with a pale skin tone and a cloudy aspect to his dull, blue eyes. "I heard you have pneumonia," Ian offered. "I'm sorry about that. How are you feeling?"

"Sick," Lucky gritted out. He held a hand to his chest and coughed long and hard. He carefully leaned back into his pillows with a look of pain. "Pneumonia sucks."

Ian smiled. "That it does." He reached into his pocket and pulled out five chocolate candy bars. "Does this help?" he asked. "I'm paying up - finally."

Lucky frowned and then laughed when he held out his hand to accept the candy. "Damn straight. You've owed me these for months."

Ian shook his head. "I'm counting on you for our next baseball practice in two weeks. Will you be there? If you're not up to running and catching balls, I at least need an American coach to teach me the game. Will you volunteer to be my assistant coach?"

A tentative smile spread across Lucky's face. "Do you mean that? You're not joking?"

"Oh, most certainly not," Ian protested. "No jokes. I need an assistant. Will you be up for the hassle of associating with me?"

Lucky chuckled and then coughed. "Sure! I'd like that. I know a lot about baseball. I used to play on teams in school, and I had a neat baseball card collection. I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty close."

"Good," Ian said loudly as he slapped his thighs and stood up from his chair. He reached out and shook Lucky's hand. "It's agreed upon. I'm so relieved."

Lucky pursed his lips and shook his head. "You're a trip."

"Likewise," Ian countered.

Lucky frowned as he looked closer at Ian and pointed at him. "How come you're dressed weird like that?"

Ian looked down at his jeans and tee shirt as his fingers ran over them. "Oh, these. Regular clothes you mean. Today's my day off. Jessica and I are headed off for a day trip. She's waiting for me in the lobby."

Lucky's eyebrows rose. "A day trip with a beautiful woman. Lucky guy."

Ian smiled broadly as he chuckled. Brat. He knows exactly what we'll be doing in a few hours time. "I seem to recall an especially beautiful girl that associated with you at Tony's wedding."

"Emily," Lucky said. "She's a model. You bet she's beautiful."

"Bring her to our first baseball game," Ian offered.

"I'll do that."

~*~*~*~

9:30 AM

Kevin Collins walked through the hallways of the locked ward with a smile on his face. At his brief, informational conference with Barb ten minutes earlier, he'd learned that Lucky Spencer was greatly improved with a more cooperative attitude than in previous days. Barb had positively glowed when she related his progress.

*** "I think you hit the jackpot with that new med, Dr. Collins. He acts as if he's woken up from a bad dream. Most of his psychotic symptoms have either disappeared or been greatly reduced. He's eating without assistance and making the effort to communicate. Staff have related that he's still brittle and edgy at times, but he's not striking out or retreating into his own world to escape. He seems to be working hard to relate to other people. ***

"Hi Lucky," Kevin said brightly as he entered his room. "How are you today?"

Lucky smiled at Kevin from his semi-reclining position. "I feel lots better." He pointed at his head. "Well, here at least. My chest is killing me, though."

"You're putting together the pieces of the puzzle then?" Kevin prompted. "You're feeling more on top of the situation?"

Lucky nodded. "When I woke up this morning, I started reviewing what everyone's been saying to me over the past few days - you, Nikolas, Uncle Tony, the staff. It's starting to make sense. I still feel upset about Faison and the poisoning, but I know he's in jail and can't hurt me. No one's going to poison me in the hospital. And I know I'm not dead."

Kevin's forehead creased with concern when he asked his next question. "Are you still hearing voices?" His brown eyes watched Lucky carefully.

Lucky's face took on a set, hard look as he tried to compose himself. "I don't know," he said vaguely.

"Why are you uncertain?"

Lucky shrugged. "Well, Faison's gone. Nikolas helped me a lot by talking to me, and Faison went away from my brain. But..." Lucky cut off the conversation and nervously nibbled on a fingernail as he avoided Kevin's eyes.

"There's someone else you hear?"

Lucky nodded imperceptibly. "I don't know what it is. I mean, I have these dreams. Some part of them I've experienced. They're memories. But other parts are new, and I'm not sure if they happened or not. And, I keep hearing her voice. She's angry at me, blaming me, but it's not my fault. That's what I keep saying." Lucky ran a shaking hand through his hair in an effort to regain his emotional bearings. "It makes me upset, but I still feel better than I did. Before, I couldn't think straight. It's like the feelings built up steam inside and then burst out. I couldn't control them. But, now I can take a deep breath and reason things out."

Kevin smiled warmly. "I think we've found an effective medication for you. You've pulled out of a psychosis within a three day period. I wouldn't be overly concerned about residual symptoms. They may take a week or two to fade away. For now, you can look forward to more progress."

"When can I get out of here?" Lucky wondered aloud.

"I'd like you to remain in the hospital until you reach the target dosage of your medication - that would be in two days. Also, you have the pneumonia to consider. You're not looking well at all. How is that coming along?"

"The nurses won't let me out of bed," Lucky said with annoyance. He looked chagrined. "I'm not sure I can get up anyway. I feel worse than I did yesterday. My chest hurts a lot. It's all I can think about at times. I'm really tired." Lucky coughed hard and firmly held a pillow to his chest. He paused and took in several deep breaths to pull more oxygen in his lungs. "I feel like I'm not getting enough oxygen," he explained.

Kevin nodded. "I'll send Jim back this way after we're finished. I'm concerned about you. You had quite a bad experience in the ER."

"So they tell me," Lucky replied.

"Back to the woman in your dreams. Who is she?"

"Mommie Dearest. Who else? She's the only one who can make me feel sick to my stomach."

"You're hearing her voice in your head?"

Lucky nodded. "It's not like Faison, though. I mean, he used to tell me to do things, but she doesn't. It's just a repeat of things she's said before."

"Like what?"

"You're no good. It's your entire fault. Why did you let...uh..." Lucky stopped talking and looked distressed. He blinked rapidly as he tried but failed to process and coordinate his thoughts and emotions. He opened his mouth and closed it. "I can't talk about it," he said firmly. He closed his eyes and curled up on his side, succumbing to a sleepiness that allowed him to avoid dealing with the situation.

Kevin rose from his chair. "I'll let you sleep. But I'll be back this afternoon. We can talk some more then. What next? More buried memories rising to the top. They seem to surface in his dreams first.

"Okay," Lucky replied sleepily.

~*~*~*~

"I'm concerned," Dr. Jim Perkins said as he hung his stethoscope around his neck. His green eyes turned serious as he regarded his patient. "I think you have a large pleural effusion. We need to take you for more chest x-rays and perhaps other tests. Your fever is back, and that's not a good sign."

Lucky frowned. "I feel like I can't breathe."

"That's another symptom," Jim stated. He was upset that Lucky seemed to be going downhill fast and was looking decidedly toxic. "I'll get a wheelchair for you."

"Jim," Lucky's tremulous voiced sounded. "I don't think I can get up anymore." He tried to rise in the bed and was quickly defeated as he lay back down and panted.

~*~*~*~

Lucky was lying on a gurney with his eyes closed as Jim tried to talk to him. He lightly shook Lucky's arm. "Hey, wake up for a sec. This is important. Your chest x-rays show that you have a large pleural effusion as I'd feared. It's flooded into your chest cavity. We need to do another diagnostic test. It's called thoracentesis, and it involves inserting a needle and catheter to sample the pleural fluid from your chest for testing."

Lucky's eyes widened, and he looked terrified. "I don't know if I can do that. I bet that hurts real bad."

Jim shook his head. "It sounds worse than it is. They'll give you a local anesthetic. It may sting, and you might feel uncomfortable pressure and be sore afterwards, but that's it."

Lucky's voice shook. "I want my Uncle Tony."

"I checked, and he won't be out of surgery for another hour. We really can't wait, Lucky. Time is very important if you have certain conditions. We need to find out now."

"I'm afraid. I don't want to do it," Lucky insisted as his eyes filled with tears.

"I know," Jim said sympathetically as he laid his hand on Lucky's arm for reassurance. "Do you want me to stay with you while you have it done?"

Lucky nodded seriously as his voice shook. "Yes."

~*~*~*~

Tony anxiously walked into Lucky's hospital room, unsure of what to expect after talking to Dr. Jim Perkins. Jim had left a message on Tony's voicemail, alerting him to the decline in Lucky's health due to complications of pneumonia, which had been Tony's biggest fear since Lucky had become ill. But, Kevin had also left Tony a voicemail outlining the particulars of Lucky's beginning recovery from his psychotic episode. What condition would his nephew be in?

Even with Jim's warnings, Tony was taken aback by Lucky's appearance. He looked every bit as ill as Tony remembered him during his near overdose on heroin. His eyes were sunken in his face, and the skin on his taut cheeks had a deathly pallor. He'd graduated to an oxygen mask as he wasn't able to do the mechanical work of breathing sufficiently to oxygenate his blood. A central line IV ran directly into Lucky's chest to measure his fluid volumes while delivering powerful antibiotics to the infection, and a closed drainage chest tube protruded from the left side of his chest. He wasn't asleep, but blinked slowly as if he were in a daze.

"Lucky," Tony stated in a low, easy voice as he sat down on a chair next to his nephew's bed. "I came as soon as I heard. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you when you had your test and all of this paraphernalia hooked up." He smiled at Lucky and held his breath as he tried to gauge Lucky's receptivity to his presence in the room.

Lucky slowly raised his right hand to remove his mask as he turned his head to look at Tony.

"Uncle Tony," he said in a weak, yet grateful voice. "I missed you."

Tony felt his heart clench at those words. "I'm here now. I know you aren't feeling wonderful, but how are you otherwise?"

Lucky smiled a lopsided grin as he pointed to his head. "This you mean?" he asked impudently. "Better. Lots better. I can think again, and I'm not as upset."

Tony brightened up. "That's super. You do seem more oriented than the last time I spoke to you."

"Kevin's miracle drug," Lucky chuckled. He frowned as he took in another breath and coughed roughly. He rolled to his side and clutched at his chest in agony as the harsh motions of his cough irritated his lungs and the sore area where he'd had his diagnostic test.

Tony stopped him when his hand reached for the chest tube. "Don't touch that," he cautioned. "Here. Lie on your back and put the oxygen mask back on. Pull in a few deep breaths and try to relax."

Tony watched sadly as his nephew struggled to breathe. He instinctively reached for Lucky's hand to let him know he had his support. Lucky didn't protest the touch as he had in previous days and instead lay still with his eyes closed. Suddenly, he removed his oxygen mask and looked directly into Tony's eyes with a sheepish look on his face. "I was just thinking about how I wish my mom were here for me," he said in a small voice. "Does that make me the biggest chump of the universe? I want my mom. She was usually here for me when I was sick. It was one thing she always did for me." Lucky's eyes turned down tearfully, and he turned his head away from his uncle, embarrassed by his bold, honest statement and the fact that his mom was more likely to wish him dead than to care for him these days.

"Am I dying?" Lucky asked his uncle out of the blue.

Tony started in his seat with the surprise of Lucky's question. "Are you worried about that?"

Lucky closed his eyes tightly and his face remained impassive as he spoke in a brittle voice. "I've felt dead for the last few days. I thought I was. Now that I can think more clearly, I see that I didn't die from the poisoning, but why is this happening to me now? Was I supposed to die, so now I don't have a choice?" He reached for his mask as he felt the ability to breathe escape him.

"The pneumonia is a result of the poisoning," Tony explained. "You were comatose, on life support. It happens. Plus, you have a history of pneumonia, and you're a smoker. It doesn't mean you're going to die. They're taking very good care of you, and the doctors are optimistic about your prognosis."

"Why does my mom hate me? No one will talk about it or help me understand," Lucky said softly.

Tony felt a pain in his stomach as he carefully considered Lucky's emotional state and need for reassurance. He continued to hold Lucky's hand as he formed the words to his reply. "I believe your mother's feelings and actions say more about her than they do you. Your mother felt the need to hate and strike out to hurt someone. It predates you and is not a reflection of your worth or value."

"But why me?" Lucky protested as his chest heaved painfully with deep emotion. "Why did she act like she loved me sometimes? Why couldn't it last?"

Tony swallowed hard. "I don't know Lucky. The answers rest with your mother. Maybe she doesn't know why she acted like she did."

Silence descended in the room as Lucky had no more questions, and Tony had no more answers.

"I love you, Uncle Tony," Lucky said decisively. His blue eyes brightened when they met Tony's.

Tony smiled as he squeezed Lucky's hand in response. "I love you, too, Lucky."

"That's what matters," Lucky said tentatively.

"That's what matters," Tony confirmed.