Chapter 123
Blessed are those who are sad. They will be comforted.
Tony looked at his watch and ran a hand over his tired face. He and Bobbie had been sitting with Lucky in the ICU for an hour, but Lucky was in a deep sleep and never woke to speak to his aunt and uncle. When they'd reached Lucky's ICU room, Tony and Bobbie had been surprised to see him breathing without the assistance of a mechanical ventilator. No one had a logical explanation for what had happened, only that the septic shock that had overcome Lucky had disappeared almost as soon as it had tipped the scales in favor of his death. The pulmonary specialist had told them that he expected Lucky to make a full recovery from his pneumonia and complications.
Tony had sent Bobbie home to take care of the kids after their summer day camp, and he was sipping on the perennial cup of coffee that seemed to naturally grow out of his hand these days. He'd sampled one or two miserable cafeteria selections, but abandoned them in favor of a low calorie day. He'd catch up on his calories tomorrow. Tony decided he'd spend the next few hours visiting at the hospital, switching back and forth from Frisco to Lucky. At least Frisco was awake and capable of holding a conversation. Tony was staying near Lucky out of concern for his health. He still didn't trust that Lucky was out of the woods yet. The swiftness of Lucky's decline and subsequent recovery made Tony feel shell-shocked and hesitant, which were two qualities that he definitely did not want to share with Bobbie. Bobbie had gratefully accepted the doctor's newest prognosis, and it had been a relief for her to concentrate on the mundane activities of cooking dinner for the family and cleaning up.
Tony leaned in closer to catch a glimpse of Lucky's face. Lucky seemed peaceful, much more so than he'd been in the previous atmosphere of the locked ward and his unrelenting psychotic episode. He was lying on his back with the oxygen mask still covering his face, but his breathing wasn't labored or forced, and his coloring was slowly returning to normal, not the deathly pallor he'd been sporting a few hours earlier. Tony breathed a sigh of relief as he sat back in his seat.
What a full house the Spencer-Jones clan would have in a few days. Frisco was leaving the hospital tomorrow, and perhaps Lucky would leave soon as well. Three adults, two children, and one teenager would be in residence under one roof. Tony smiled as he reflected that he'd been a lonely bachelor warming up bad TV dinners in his microwave oven only a year ago. It was a good change.
Tony laced his fingers behind his head and memorized the white, regular pattern of the ceiling tiles in Lucky's room. He and Bobbie had discussed the possibility of her taking an unpaid three month family leave, which was a benefit of her job. They'd discussed the finances and the need for an adult to be in the home with Lucky's situation and the continuing needs of the children. Money was an issue, although not an impossible one, since they'd relied on Bobbie's salary to live comfortably in the large Victorian home. Frisco had offered to pay room and board while he lived with them, and Tony was considering taking him up on his offer. The extra hundreds of dollars would help them to squeak by with only one salary. Bobbie had pointed out that Tony needed to tend to his practice since many of his former patients were seeing his partners or other doctors by necessity due to his erratic schedule over the past year. Bobbie could take Lucky to appointments and deal with any crises should they arise.
In a way, Tony didn't want to give up his role as Lucky's main support and protector, but he figured that change was inevitable. It was time for Lucky to make small steps toward his clean and sober independence anyway. Still, he felt a little sad. He missed the bachelor pad existence and closeness that he'd shared with Lucky for a few months. It had been a special time when Tony had felt like his life was coming together and when he'd started seeing Bobbie again on a social basis.
Tony let out a long yawn, and quickly shut his mouth when he felt a pat on his shoulder.
Kevin looked down at him and smiled. "You look whipped," Kevin said. "How's Lucky doing now? I thought I'd check on him before going home."
Tony looked at Kevin and said, "You're here late, too. Do you work twelve hour days?"
Kevin smiled. "Sometimes. Okay, most days. You caught me."
"Your patients are fortunate that you're so dedicated."
"Yes, but my wife is complaining," Kevin replied.
Tony met Kevin's eyes with understanding but said nothing. They'd both been on the receiving end of Lucy's wrath, and it wasn't worth dredging up the past. He gestured toward Lucky. "We had a close call recently. Lucky was in septic shock and headed for respiratory arrest, but by some miracle, he seems to be quickly recovering. He's been sleeping heavily, and I haven't had the heart to wake him up to talk to him." Tony paused and let out a tense breath. "However..."
Tony met Kevin's gaze and said, "I have some new information to pass on to you. Nikolas gave me the heads up on some issues pertaining to Lucky." Tony set his eyes on Lucky. He didn't want to bring up the subject in his nephew's presence. "Want a beer before heading home?" Tony asked. "I'd like to get away from the hospital."
Kevin gave him a broad smile. "If we can manage to relax, my wife will thank you for it."
"Go."
Both Kevin and Tony turned toward the weak voice. Lucky's eyes were half open, and he waved a hand. "Go. Have a good time. I’m gonna sleep." Lucky smiled and then closed his eyes again.
~*~*~*~
Tony sifted through the day's mail and warmed up a cup of hot chocolate - a habit that he'd picked up from Lucky since he was trying to cut down on his coffee consumption, particularly in the evenings.
"Hi honey," Bobbie said as she bent to kiss Tony on the cheek. "How was your time with Kevin?"
Tony smiled. "It was nice. We talked about Lucky for a few minutes, but then we relaxed and played darts. He's a killer dart player, though. I almost never win."
Bobbie opened the dishwasher and pulled out the silverware, lining up the clean utensils in the drawer. "I'm glad you got out for a few minutes. You need to de-stress sometimes. You're always trying to be strong for me, but you need time off, too."
Tony leaned against the counter as he sipped his drink. "Yes, you're right. I'm starting to realize that I have to take care of myself if I want to do things for my family."
"I've been getting a good workout taking Harley for a walk twice a day," Bobbie said. "Do you want to go on a walk with me now?" Harley barked twice in the back yard, and they both laughed.
"Do you think he heard you?" Tony asked.
Bobbie shook her head.
"He has us trained. He knows it's time for his walk. Lucky always took him between 9
and
"I told Kevin what Lulu shared with Nikolas."
"What was his reaction?"
Tony shrugged. "It was helpful to him because he knew Lucky had been having issues with his mother again. It fills in some blanks. He told me not to be overly concerned if this or other issues come to the surface occasionally. Lucky has been quite ill, and it's not like we can take a magic wand and say, 'POOF,' you're all better now. Lucky is better - he'll be able to resume the activities of a normal life, but he still has work to do."
"That's
okay," Bobbie said as she reached for the plates to stack in the kitchen cabinet.
"I just don't want to see him institutionalized. I want him to be surrounded by his
family and friends." She paused. "And I want him to go to school. He can't go
back to
Tony rubbed his chin.
"He does want to go back to work, though. He mentioned returning to White
"Plus the teenaged prostitutes," Bobbie added with a raised eyebrow.
Tony chuckled. "I think he learned his lesson. He's too crazy about Emily Quartermaine to risk that relationship again."
"I thought he was going to concentrate on his schooling for the first semester and leave work for a later time."
Tony nodded. "I reminded him of that. He reluctantly agreed. He's a very independent young man. It's hard for him to depend on other people, but I'm thinking that it's good for him. It's helping him to learn to trust again. I can see him opening up much more than he used to."
"How was he when you left him at the hospital?" Bobbie asked. She walked over to the pantry and dug out a dog biscuit from a large box.
"He finally woke up and told me and Kevin to go have a drink. He fell right back to sleep with a smile on his face."
"Sounds like he's turned the corner and has started healing. Sleep is good for him."
"Are we ready for Frisco tomorrow morning?" Tony asked.
"The parlor is cleared out, and I placed a dresser for his clothes and the trundle bed from Lucky's room in there. It won't be luxurious accommodations, but he should be comfortable. Alexis said she'd pick him up from the hospital, and Frisco has the key, so he'll be here when we come home from work tomorrow."
"With Frisco here paying room and board, I say you should definitely ask for that family leave tomorrow," Tony said. He rinsed out his cup and placed it in the dishwasher. "It's a positive move."
Bobbie's eyes softened and lit up at the same time. "Are you sure? I don't want you to worry about money. We have plenty of other things to be concerned about."
Tony shook his head. "Frisco's contribution should help cover the costs of running this house. We'll get by. Besides, I need to revamp my practice. If I do that and give it my full attention, we'll be in a better place within a few months." Tony took the dog biscuit from Bobbie's hand and kissed her on the cheek. "Why don't you get ready for bed? Tomorrow's Lulu's big day, isn't it? A visit with Luke? I'll walk the dog tonight."
Bobbie placed her hands on Tony's hips and pulled him close as she gave him a big kiss. "I'll be waiting for you to return," she said with a bright grin.
"Grrrrr..." Tony growled as he leaned in to nibble on her neck.
~*~*~*~
Next morning...
Lucky was propped up in bed, drinking orange juice from a carton and nibbling on a piece of toast. His oxygen mask and chest tube were removed, and he was feeling cautiously optimistic about his condition. He still wore a central line IV, cardiac monitor and nasal cannula, but they told him he wouldn't need that degree of monitoring when they moved him out of the ICU that afternoon.
Lucky had slept soundly all night, and he had a degree of energy that he hadn't felt in days. He hadn't mentioned the experience that he'd had the previous day as he felt shy and protective of that event. He'd thought about it all morning, though, and he decided that he didn't feel as oppressed by circumstances. He had a lot to look forward to in his life, and it didn't make sense to be dwelling on his past all the time. He'd never be free if he did that. He wasn't entirely sure why he'd had so many obstacles in his life, especially lately, but if they were there for a purpose, then he'd have to accept it and move on.
"Hi Lucky."
Lucky placed his toast on his plate. "Mrs. Quartermaine," he said. "Um, I mean Dr. Quartermaine." The way that Lucky looked at his girlfriend's mother reminded her of a rabbit caught in the headlights of a speeding car.
Monica chuckled and sat down beside Lucky. "I hope I'm not bothering you," she said. "I promised Emily I'd look in on you. You're the first person on my daily rounds."
Lucky gave her a brief smile and waited for her to continue.
"You look like you're feeling better," Monica said. "Emily was very worried about you. She said you were very ill yesterday."
Lucky nodded. "I had a few bad moments yesterday afternoon, but I had a good night's sleep, and I'm doing better." Lucky pointed at his chest with a finger. Lucky's eyes brightened, and he said, "It was nice of Emily to visit me yesterday. She's real thoughtful. Of course, that's only one reason why I like her."
Monica didn't fail to notice how lively Lucky seemed when he mentioned her daughter's name, and the resulting sharp rise in his interest level in their conversation. Monica had grown used to envisioning Lucky as the twelve year old boy who had frequently hung out with her daughter - a boy who had been Emily's childhood best friend. But, she couldn't help but notice that Lucky was turning into a fine, handsome young man with the physique and confidence that spoke 'man' rather than 'boy.' When had her daughter become a woman who associated with men? Overnight it seemed. "My daughter cares about you a great deal," Monica said.
Lucky blushed and lowered his eyelashes, looking extremely shy. He shrugged and twirled his thumbs as he avoided her gaze. "I care about her, too," he answered softly. "I love her." His lips turned up happily with that comment.
Monica smiled in spite of herself at Lucky's honest admission, although it'd sent an initial shock of surprise through her. She noticed how cute he seemed when he was expressing his feelings for her daughter and how blue his eyes were along with the evenness of his features. It wasn't hard to see why Emily was smitten with him. "I want you to know that you're welcome at our house," she said. "It's been a long time since we've had you over to visit, but we'd be happy if you stopped by."
"December," Lucky said. His mouth turned down. "It's been almost seven months."
"I'm glad your kidnapper was caught," Monica said. She didn't want to bring up topics that might upset Lucky, but at the same time, she wanted Lucky to know that she was on his side. "You deserve a lot of happiness."
"Thanks," Lucky replied. 'I'm glad it's over. I feel safer now."
Monica nodded. "Edward has been asking about you."
Lucky looked panicked. He smacked his head with the flat of his palm. "Oh gee. The golf game! It's Saturday. I won't be out of the hospital until Friday at the earliest. What am I going to do? I keep canceling our games. He's going to hate me."
Monica laughed. "Oh, I don't think Edward is anywhere near hating you, Lucky. He still fancies you as the next Bill Gates. Edward views himself as the man who discovered you."
"Bill Gates," Lucky said with disbelief. "Where did he get that? Am I that weird looking or geeky?"
"Oh, I think he saw a spark or a fire within you, a bit more intelligence than he's used to seeing on a daily basis."
Lucky gave Monica a genuine smile. "That surprises me, but it's cool. I like that. Edward isn't such a bad guy."
Monica shook her head. "Lucky, if you take him off our hands for a few hours and make him behave, you'll be an honorary Quartermaine worthy of a huge trust fund. Give him a phone call. He'll be happy to talk to you. You'll make his day."
Lucky nodded and lay back amongst his pillows. "I'll do that. Thanks, Dr. Quartermaine. You've made me feel better."
~*~*~*~
Bobbie walked into the detention center with a protective arm around Lulu's shoulder. Much to her relief, it was much less ominous and threatening than Pentonville had been. Gone were the heavy limestone surfaces and endless gray interiors with metal bars covering everything worth breaking or escaping. This place favored mellow tans and browns, and the lobby area was set up more like a simple, spartan hotel - nothing to scare a young child who was visiting her father for the first time in two years.
When Bobbie walked up to the desk to register for the visit, she stopped and reminded Lulu, "I'm going to visit your daddy for a quick, fifteen minute visit. You have your coloring book and crayons, and I'll introduce you to the person who will be sitting with you while you wait for your turn."
"Okay, Aunt Bobbie." Lulu's voice was soft with uncertainty.
In the car on the way over, Bobbie had assured her that her daddy was happy and excited to see her. Still, Lulu looked nervous and a little afraid of the place where her father was imprisoned. Her blue eyes swept around the area with caution.
Bobbie followed Lulu's gaze and caught the drab nature of the identically upholstered seats, their rough, tan woven cloth soiled in places by multitudes of visitors. Even the visitors were drab and dull - their personalities purposefully hidden from view in this place where their dreams and hopes were locked up along with a husband, son or boyfriend.
Lulu's squeezed Bobbie's hand when she saw the brightly colored play area in the corner of the waiting room. It was set up with books, a child-sized table to sit at and several toys. "Can I go over there?"
Bobbie nodded and smiled as she ran a hand over Lulu's hair. "Sure thing, sweetheart. You can sit over there while I sign us in."
~*~*~*~
"Luke?" Bobbie's tentative voice quivered with emotion as she approached her brother in the visitor's room. Five other visitors were sitting near their incarcerated relatives, and Luke was waiting for Bobbie in a comfortable overstuffed chair by a window that overlooked a garden tended by the prisoners.
"Barbara?" Luke hastily rose from his chair. His blue eyes shone and his broad smile creased his lined face as he held out his arms to welcome her.
Bobbie rushed into Luke's arms and choked up. "It feels so good to hug you," she said with her head resting on his shoulder.
Luke patted Bobbie on the back and separated from their hug, but he never broke their connection as he repeatedly rubbed her arms. "It's been too long," he said softly.
"Two years," Bobbie said. She looked around the visitor's room with approval. "This is nice. It's good. It sure beats staring at you across through glass and wire."
Brother and sister sat down near one another and just stared for a few moments before they laughed and broke up their mutual admiration society.
"How are you, Barbara Jean?" Luke asked. "How are you holding up with this continual drama that surrounds the Spencer family?"
Bobbie's face softened when she reflected on the last few weeks. "It's been difficult," she said. Her eyes met her brother's, and she sat up straighter as a determined look flooded her face. "But I wouldn't miss it for a minute. Life's not all flowers and songs. We take both the ups and downs." She giggled. "I'm having fun being a newlywed."
Luke's lips worked with amusement. "Doc bro in law. I'm not sure I'll ever understand it, but if he makes you happy..."
"He does!" Bobbie asserted.
"...then I'm happy for you," Luke finished. He snickered as his eyes twinkled. "You're looking mighty young and bouncy, little sister. Old Tony must be doing something right."
Bobbie playfully swatted at Luke's arm as she shot him a look of mock admonition. "How are you doing, Luke?"
Luke shrugged and ran a hand over his prison crew cut. "I'm holding," he said. "This new place makes the time a lot easier to serve, but it's still hard being away from my family, especially the kids. The library job is okay - it allows me time to study. I actually like school, can you believe it?"
"I believe it," Bobbie said. "You've always had a fine mind."
Luke stroked his chin and chuckled. "That's me, Mr. Fine Mind." He hesitated, flooded with sadness. "What's the latest update on Lucky? You called me last night, and that I do appreciate - knowing he's not dying on us."
Bobbie's face turned serious. "He's not showing any signs of sepsis. He still has the pneumonia, but he's improved greatly since yesterday. He'll be moved out of the ICU this afternoon." She cleared her throat and looked away from Luke as she seemed to carefully choose her next words. "He's emerging from his latest psychotic episode. Kevin's finally found a drug that will work for him. It's made a great difference. He's able to put his thoughts together, and he's coherent. We're hopeful for him."
Luke noted Bobbie's concise explanation lacked detail, and he wondered if she were leaving out important information. "Are you being straight with me? It kills me to be away from him and not able to help, but I'd rather know if there's bad news. I need the truth."
Bobbie sniffed and blinked away a few tears. "It's hard," she said. She looked up to the ceiling, avoiding his gaze. "I keep hoping that he'll return to himself, you know? That he'll be just like he was before the kidnapping. But I know that won't likely happen. Life changes people. He's put up a good fight, and I think he's winning. Kevin is very pleased with his progress. This latest episode is only a setback. It's just hard to watch him lose pieces of himself in the midst of this disease. His personality, coping skills, even his ability to learn seem to be affected."
Luke's face set at Bobbie's words, but she wasn't saying anything that he didn't already know through his research on the subject matter in the library and through his own limited contact with his son. Lucky was different than in the past, but he was still Lucas Lorenzo Spencer, Junior, his proud namesake and the ember that had kept Luke alive during the roughest period of his life. "It's okay," he said to Bobbie. "He's my son. I love him no matter what. I can handle this. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the care and attention that you and Tony have given him while his parents are incarcerated." Luke looked down at his hands folded in his lap as his cheeks burnt with shame and regret.
Bobbie reached for Luke's hand and enfolded it in her own. She gave it a light squeeze as she met his eyes. "I love Lucky and Lulu, and I truly enjoy having them live with us. You know how I am about family."
Luke nodded and gave her a brief smile. "That I do."
"Lucky had his ear pierced again," Bobbie whispered as she leaned toward him with a devilish grin. "He said he wanted his 'Spencerness' back."
Lukelaughed. "A gold hoop?" he asked as his right hand brushed his own earring deprived earlobe.
Bobbie nodded. "Yesiree. He picked a hoop identical to your favorite one. He looks so cute, more like his dad every day. Oh! And he's grown at least three inches in the past six months. He's catching up to you, big brother!"
Luke's heart flooded with relief at the common, everyday news that Bobbie related. "Who wouldn't grow tall with you feeding them?" Luke patted his stomach. "Us old guys put on five pounds in anticipation of a slice of your chocolate cake. You're a great cook, Barbara Jean. I hope Tony is on an exercise program."
Bobbie shook her head at Luke's sarcastic humor. "He's been jogging regularly. You should have seen how slim he looked at our wedding. I’m glad he's exercising because his younger brother Frisco recently had a heart attack. Can you believe it? Only forty-one years old. But, Tony's father died of a heart attack at age thirty-nine. So you never know."
Luke smiled at the familiar sound of his sister's rambling voice. It felt good to be a part of her life, and he welcomed the news and opinions.
Bobbie stopped herself after a few minutes and stood with her hands on her hips. "It's time for you to see your daughter," she said with a smile. "We can talk more later."
"You betcha," Luke said as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.
~*~*~*~
Luke hovered near the entrance door to the visitor's area so his daughter wouldn't be upset if she couldn't immediately find her father in the mix of people. He ran his hand over his crew cut repeatedly, trying to calm his nerves. Part of him was totally excited to see Lulu, and the other part was scared to death of being rejected by a little girl who might not even remember him. When the door opened, his stomach did a flip-flop, and then his entire body was flooded by warmth that surprised him upon seeing the curious face of Lulu.
Instinct took over, and Luke dropped to one knee and gestured for a hug. "Lesley Lu," he called out.
"Oh, Daddy!" Lulu cried out as she flung herself into his waiting arms.
Luke smelled the fresh shampoo in Lulu's pretty, dark hair, and he smiled as he closed his eyes and savored the feel of his little girl. He stroked her long hair with delight. "Baby doll, your hair keeps growing out of your head!"
Lulu smirked and tossed her hair. "That's where it comes from Daddy," she scolded him. "Aunt Bobbie helps me take care of it. Look at my pretty barrette."
Luke examined Lulu's barrette and exclaimed, "That's beautiful. Just like you."
Lulu's eyes shone at her father's interest in her, and she took his hand. "Thank you," she said politely.
Luke smiled. Thank you, Barbara Jean, he thought. You always were a stickler for manners. "Let's go sit down," he said with a finger pointed toward the window. "We can have ourselves a nice chat." Luke led Lulu by the hand to a private corner of the room. When he sat down on the tan plaid upholstered chair, he asked respectfully, "Would you like to sit on my lap, Lulu-belle?" Luke didn't want to force himself on a small child that hadn't seen him in years. Lulu's inquisitive blue eyes met Luke's serious eyes that couldn't help but betray his love for her, and she nodded happily.
"I like laps," Lulu said as she hopped onto Luke's lap and leaned against him.
Luke hugged Lulu and said, "Laps are good." Father and daughter sat silently for a minute as both relaxed and drank in the positive feelings that flowed between them.
Lulu broke the silence first. "I missed you, Daddy. I got tired of making you cards. I wanted to see you, but no one would let me."
Luke kissed the top of Lulu's head and patted her arm. "I missed you, too, Lulu, but I thought about you every single day. I hoped that you could tell I love you. You're my best and only little girl, you know? Let me tell you how much I've enjoyed your cards. I've kept each one, and some of them I display. You're a good artist."
Lulu twisted around in Luke's lap as she displayed a small, surprised smile. "You really liked my cards? You think I'm an artist? Wow. Aunt Bobbie only puts my drawings on the refrigerator for a week."
Luke gave Lulu a small smile, but he glowed with happiness. "You bet you're a good artist." He crumpled his fingers into a light fist and held it to his heart. "I felt your cards right here, in my heart. That's where they'll always stay."
Lulu's brow crinkled as she considered her father's words. "That's nice," she decided. Lulu played with Luke's hands and traced his prominent blood vessels with her small index finger. "I thought you and Lucky were in the same prison. But I saw Lucky in his place, and it's not the same as this. Lucky's place was scarier."
Luke frowned as his heart clenched out of fear and guilt. "You saw Lucky in the hospital?" he asked. "When was that?"
"Two days ago," Lulu said. "I went with Lucas, and we sneaked into the locked place. We got lost, but Nikolas found us. He let us see Lucky for a minute. Lucky was asleep."
"It sounds like you had quite an adventure," Luke said, secretly delighted at this display of his daughter's spirited nature.
"Yes," Lulu said with a vigorous nod of her head. "The police were looking for us, too. We scared Aunt Bobbie. She had to go lie down on the bed. Uncle Tony told us never to do that again because we should always go places with an adult. We didn't get in too much trouble. Just a talking to. It wasn't too bad, but sometimes grownups talk too much and it gets boring. They repeat things over and over. I get it the first time."
Luke laughed out loud and bounced Lulu on his knee. "You be a good girl for your aunt and uncle. They take good care of you."
"I know," Lulu said. "I try to be good, but I was upset. No one ever lets me see Lucky, and he's always in the hospital. Lucas said we couldn't go, but I told him my daddy said I can have what I want if I keep trying. Spencers are better than Joneses anyway. That's what I told him."
Luke choked on his attempts not to bust into laughter. "Joneses are good, too," he reminded Lulu.
"That's what Lucas said."
"I'll bet he said that," Luke replied. "But you're right, baby girl. It's a good thing to keep trying. Don't ever give up. Just be sure you tell someone what you're doing, okay. It's not good for Aunt Bobbie to be upset. You don't want to upset her, do you?"
Lulu shook her head. "No. I love Aunt Bobbie. She's the best. She's nice and smart and funny and she does the flowers real pretty in the yard."
Luke hugged Lulu and sighed. "I'm glad you're happy, Lulu. I miss being with you, but if I know you're happy, I feel a lot better."
Lulu looked into her father's face and patted him on the chest. "Are you happy, Daddy?"
Luke grew serious, and he let out a long breath. "I'm getting there," he said. "I'm still learning. I think you kids are teaching me how to be happy." Luke kissed Lulu on the cheek and stroked the spot that he kissed. "I love you, pumpkin."
Lulu smiled brightly. "I love you, too, Daddy." Her face grew pensive. "Do you still want me to send you cards? Aunt Bobbie said I could visit you every other month. That's six times a year."
"You're a smart girl," Luke observed.
"I know," Lulu said.
Luke shook his head at her attitude. You and Lucky are two peas in a pod. More attitude than a little person can handle. "Yes, Lulu. I'd love it if you'd send me more cards," he said to answer her question. "Do you like my letters? I can't draw. All I can do is write."
Lulu nodded. "I can read some sentences, and the other ones Lucky or Aunt Bobbie read to me. Then I understand."
Luke's eyebrows rose. "Did you remember to bring the playing cards?" he asked.
Lulu jumped up from Luke's lap. "Yes!" she exclaimed. "I can beat anyone at go fish, even Lucky. I'm going to beat you, too!"
Luke pasted a surprised look on his face. "Me? Me? You think you can beat me? Nobody can beat Luke Spencer at cards." He gave his daughter a sneak tickle attack to reinforce his point.
Lulu giggled and twisted away from him. "I will!"
Luke looked stern. "Well, let's see what you've got, little miss!"
~*~*~*~
Afternoon...
Lucky was spacing out as he idly flipped through the channels on the hospital television that was stationed near his bed. He sighed and flopped his hand back down as there was nothing on the channels except for stale talk shows. He was starting to feel better, just to that point where he wasn't struggling to breathe, but he was now becoming bored with a little energy in his reserves. He wondered when they would let him out of the hospital. He was now in a regular hospital room, and he hoped they weren't planning on sending him back to the psych ward. Kevin had said he could leave when his medications were up to their maximum levels, and that would be tomorrow. Maybe his pneumonia would improve as well, and he could recuperate at home.
Lucky was lost in thought and didn't notice that he had another visitor who tentatively approached him. He caught movement in his peripheral vision and looked up abruptly. "Oh!" he said. "Hi Michael. I'm surprised to see you here. How's it going?" It was his buddy from the day center.
"Hey there," Michael replied. "I didn't want to bug you, but I wanted to see you before I left."
Lucky frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I’m graduating from the day center," Michael explained. "I'm outta here."
"Oh," Lucky replied with disappointment. "I forgot you were on a different schedule. I'll miss you. You were the only normal person around. Now I won't have anyone to talk to."
Michael smiled at Lucky's opinion of him. "You're cool, too. I'm glad we met." He grew nervous and rubbed his hands together. "It was the second time for me at the day center. Maybe I'll flunk the game of life again and be back. You never know." His eyes took on a distant, haunted aspect as he considered his words. He rubbed his hands on his pants and looked away from Lucky.
"I'm sorry," Lucky said. "I had a relapse. That's why I'm here, not just for the pneumonia. They finally found some drugs that seem to be working. Maybe it'll be the same for you. We're both going to make it." Lucky smiled. "We're too cool not to get over this, right?"
Michael nodded. "Are you okay?" he asked. "I had to do some detective work to figure out where you were. They're pretty closed-mouthed about other patients at the day center. Privacy and all that. I remembered the name of your uncle, and I called him. I hope you don't mind."
Lucky shook his head. "No, I don't mind. I'm glad you're visiting. I was spacing out from boredom. Hospitals aren't the most exciting places."
"For sure," Michael agreed with a grin. "That's why we have to cause trouble and raise a little hell."
"Or a lot of hell in my case," Lucky smirked. "I was beating up psych techs and escaping down hallways. I'm unpredictable. That's what they tell me." Lucky laughed. "I like being unpredictable. Keeps them guessing."
"What made you relapse? If you don't mind talking about it?"
Lucky shrugged. "It wasn't one thing. The drugs weren't working for me. That was one problem. And..." Lucky sighed and looked down at his hands, which were fidgeting. "A man tried to murder me," he said with a soft voice. "He was the same man who kidnapped me for a year. I couldn't handle it. That's about it. I'm okay now."
"That's rough. Kind of like a movie or something," Michael commented.
"Yeah," Lucky agreed. "But I'm alive, and I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
"It helps if you have a fighting attitude," Michael said. "You can't give up."
"No," Lucky replied.
Silence fell between the two young men as both had their separate thoughts. "How long have you had, uh, your problem?" Lucky asked. It seemed like Michael was more of a veteran than he was, and he was anxious for any words of wisdom.
Michael laughed uneasily and rubbed his hair. "I'm twenty-one, so I guess about three years," he said. A muscle in his cheek twitched. "I haven't been able to complete my degree. I'm studying architecture, or at least I was. My parents won't let me go back to the out of state university where I studied before. I have to live at home."
"Me, too," Lucky said.
"I've had three relapses, about one a year. It seems to be a pattern," Michael said. "I'm paranoid schizophrenic," he added. "That's worse than what you have. I think. The drugs help a lot, but I'm not cured. They might start me on the last resort drug."
"I'm sorry," Lucky said.
Michael shrugged. "That's the way it is."
"I don't have friends anymore," Lucky said. "Did that happen to you, too?"
Michael nodded. "Yeah."
"My family is cool. I mean, both of my parents are in prison, but I stay with my aunt and uncle. I think I freaked out everyone else. I'm not sure if I still have my girlfriend or not. We have to talk when I get out of here."
Michael shook his head. "I haven't been anywhere that I can meet people, unless I want to date another mental patient, and I haven't seen anyone cute enough to even think of asking out."
Lucky smiled. "I got lucky. I've known my girlfriend since we were little twelve year old brats running away from home. But I know what you mean about the slim pickings in the psych ward. There were some cute girls on the minimum security floor, but I never lasted there long. The locked ward is home for me. There was a sixty year old lady there last time."
Michael rolled his eyes. "Maybe I'll meet someone on campus. My parents enrolled me at PCU."
Lucky brightened. "Me, too!"
"Cool. Maybe we can hang out sometime," Michael said.
"Sure," Lucky agreed. "Give me your email, and we can meet."
When Michael pulled a hospital tablet of paper from the nightstand to write down his email address, Lucky had a sudden thought. "Do you play baseball?"
Michael nodded. "Used to in high school. I was decent then."
"How would you like to play on a hospital charity team? The man in charge promoted me to his assistant coach because I can't play with this pneumonia, but he needs a replacement for my position. Do you want to do it? It'd be fun. There's a barbecue afterwards."
"Sure," Michael said. "Sounds like fun."
"I'll email you with the details,"
~*~*~*~
Evening...
Luke lay back on his bed with his hands folded behind his head. His visit with Lulu and Bobbie earlier in the day had lit a spark in him that was still burning. He reflected on Lulu's question asking him if he were happy. Luke nibbled on his lower lip while he thought. Sure, he'd like to be free and able to come and go as he pleased, but did that freedom of movement equal happiness?
Was he happy when he'd kept firearms in his home? Was he happy when his wife was cheating on him with another man and abusing his son? He'd been functioning on automatic pilot during those years, not daring to look closely at his life lest it collapse in front of him into an untidy, broken heap of lies and regrets.
The dynamic that he'd had with Laura had kept things on edge and spicy, but was that love and passion or was it something more sinister like control and dishonesty? When had either of them ever dealt with their respective pasts? How could they ever raise calm, confident children in an atmosphere like that? Weren't mother and father destined to pass on the ugliness of their pasts if they didn't deal with them up front? Lucky had suffered the most due to his position in the family and the fact that his father had tried to turn him into a younger version of himself. Yet, Laura's game playing and love of control had switched focus to his son in such an underhanded, sneaky way. Was she even aware of what she had done? Why had he ever thought that their games had only been between husband and wife?
Was it happiness that drove him to send a bullet through another man's head?
Life now was on a forced schedule, but the regularity of his life had given him the presence of mind to do some hard thinking. The lack of Laura-sized drama in his life had given him a new perspective, one that allowed him to accept his own responsibility for this mess that their family had disintegrated into. He finally felt that he'd moved away from the shackles of his past. After they'd been revealed to the light, the events of the past seemed to lose their power over him, and he'd begun to create his own vision for his life. He felt free to react and dream based on his own needs and wants. He even wished that Laura would be able to rebuild her life and learn from her experiences while in prison. Wasn't that happiness? Wasn't he more free in a prison with bars and guard dogs than he'd been in the prison of his own making on the outside?
Freedom from Laura. It was a heady feeling with a freshness of a spring breeze. He wanted his children to have that sense of freedom, and with Bobbie and Tony raising them, it seemed like they had a fighting chance. And no, it wasn't too late for Lucky. He'd have to fight harder than Lulu to create a life for himself, but Lucky was a fighter - no denying that. He'd make it.
Luke smiled as his thoughts focused on Lulu. She was all Spencer, but with the self-confidence and easygoing personality that came from being raised by an aunt who insisted on a structure and routine to give a small girl a sense of security. Luke couldn't wait to help raise this little girl with a new purpose and freedom in his life. He'd learned the parenting do's and don'ts from the school of hard knocks, and this time he was sure he'd be able to do it right. Lucky would be a young adult in his early twenties when Luke left prison, but Luke knew that he would still need to have his old dad in his life. It would work out.
Life was good.
Next...