Chapter Thirty-Six
Lucky lay with his stomach on his bed, dangling his feet over the side and waving them up and down as he looked through the brochures fanned out on the ruby red bedspread. He slowly leafed through the glossy pages, reviewing the literature and smiling in anticipation. He received his application to Port Charles University today in the mail. The spring semester started in five weeks, but the admitting officer agreed to review and possibly accept his late application.
Freshmen were expected to take mostly liberal arts courses but were allowed one course in their declared major. Lucky planned to declare dual math and computer science majors, and he really wanted to get into the systems administration class.
Lucky sighed, gathered the brochures and placed them back into the large envelope. Fees and tuition were $1300 for a semester. Lucky hadn't heard back about his job interview. They told him to expect an answer in two weeks. Well, the application was due by next week. What should I do? he wondered nervously. Lucky walked over to his bureau, opened the top drawer and pulled out the ragged bag. He set it on the desk and looked at it for a few minutes. Maybe I should use Roy's money that I stole, Lucky thought nervously. That way I could have the university paid for while I look for a job to pay Tony room and board. I know I can find something else if I don't get the GH job. Man, I want that job, though.
Making up his mind, Lucky reached for a black pen and began to carefully fill out his college application.
~*~*~*~
Lucky sat in Kevin's office deliberating an answer to Kevin's question of how his life was going. He sighed and shifted in his chair, crossing a leg and jiggling his foot.
"I don't know, Kevin," he admitted. "In some areas, things are great, but in others, nothing seems to change. I mean, it is starting to be easier to stop thinking about the alcohol all the time. I don't miss it too much. But, my family life is dead and gone. There's no one around anymore. My mom is in North Carolina and never calls or writes. My sister is with my mom, and my dad…um…uh…my dad is never coming home." Lucky wiped away a tear and tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair.
"I saw my dad a few days ago in prison, and he looked so old and tired. He's the same guy and all, but he's just not all there if you know what I mean." Lucky paused to sniff.
"You miss having your dad nearby," Kevin stated.
"Yeah," Lucky said sadly. He coughed and rubbed his nose. "I'll never see him again without all that glass and metal separating us. If I ever have kids, he'll never hold them or play with them. I just can't deal with it. I keep thinking about it all the time, and it makes me so sad and depressed. I feel all this pressure on me."
"What do you mean by pressure?" asked Kevin.
"You know, be the man in the family, take care of my sister. My dad made me promise to look after her. But, how can I do that if she's hundreds of miles away?"
"You can write to her or call her on the phone," suggested Kevin.
"I write to her, but she can't write back yet." Lucky rested his cheek on his hand. "I'm afraid to call because my mom might answer."
"What are you afraid will happen?" prodded Kevin.
"I dunno. She might hang up on me, or I might start screaming at her and cuss her out. I want to tell her to go to hell." Lucky paused to catch his breath, and his face reddened with his efforts to hold in his tears. "Then, she'll never let me see Lulu again. She's just not the same person. I don't know who she is or what she'd do. Maybe that's the problem."
"We can work out a plan for calling your mother and try to think of some neutral things for you to say if tough situations occur. How's that sound?" asked Kevin.
"Maybe," said Lucky. "I'm not ready to call her. I don't want to."
"All right," said Kevin. "We can talk about that later. How are things going with your girlfriend?"
"Emily's cool," Lucky replied, sparking up a bit. "We're getting to know each other better. She spends most of her time at my place, and she wants me to come to her house more often. I'm kind of afraid of that. You know, Edward Quartermaine and all."
Kevin laughed. "Yes, I think I know what you mean. He's a little crabby sometimes."
"You're being nice, Kevin," Lucky laughed dryly. "I don't know about the rest of her family. I think I'm not good enough for them, being a Spencer drug addict and all. You know, riff-raff."
Kevin looked concerned. "Lucky, we talked about not defining yourself in negative terms. Why are you referring to yourself this way?"
"Because I'm a Spencer. We kill people, drink, take drugs, and cheat on our spouses. That's what we do," Lucky spit out, clenching his jaw repeatedly and grinding his teeth. "It's genetic."
"Then why would someone as nice as Emily Quartermaine want to hang out with Lucky Spencer?" countered Kevin. He looked steadily at Lucky.
Lucky shrugged. "I don't know," he said in a small voice. "She says she loves me. I don't know why she would." Lucky looked down at his hands and bent back one thumbnail repeatedly until it broke off and left a jagged edge.
"Lucky, we've never talked about your relationship with Elizabeth Webber," stated Kevin. "What are your feelings about that relationship?"
"What relationship," Lucky said bitterly. "I thought we were in love, and she wanted out. End of story."
"How did you feel about Elizabeth?" asked Kevin. "Where did you want the relationship to go?"
"Before I was kidnapped, we were married, not legally, but in every way that counts." Lucky's eyes glistened with tears. "We were a permanent lock. Forever." Lucky began crying earnestly. "At least that's the way I felt. She walked out on me. Said I wasn't what she wanted. I didn't have the same life goals. She was talking about me not graduating from high school or going to college." Lucky brought his feet up on the chair and buried his face in his knees, sobbing.
After he regained his composure, Lucky raised his head and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "It wasn't my fault," he protested. Kevin reached over and handed him a tissue. "Faison kidnapped me and kept me for a year. That's why I couldn't finish high school. And when I came back, my family went to hell, and I was just trying to survive. I couldn't think of what to do." Lucky blew his nose in the tissue.
"Lucky, did you ever consider that Elizabeth wasn't the person for you or that she didn't have the loyalty or qualities that you need?"
"Yeah," Lucky replied. "She's a bitch." He laughed long and hard. "She's a bitch-a-maniac. Her sister warned me about her." Lucky shook his head, wiped away his bitter tears of laughter and smiled weakly.
Kevin looked down at his blotter, maintaining his professional demeanor and not laughing at Lucky's outburst.
Kevin looked up after a minute. "So what's your good news for the week?" he asked.
"I got accepted into PCU," Lucky smiled brightly. "I can't wait to start. I'm so excited," he grinned, sitting taller in his seat. "And, I got a new job! I'm now working for the MIS Department in General Hospital. I'm so happy. My first day is next Monday. Now I can pay back Tony for everything and carry my own weight."
"That's great news, Lucky." Kevin smiled broadly. "You've made a lot of positive steps in a short time. I'm very proud of you."
Lucky smiled and nodded.
~*~*~*~
Dear Dad,
I have some great news.
I was accepted into PCU and start my first classes soon. I'm nervous, but really looking forward to it. I declared a dual major - computer science and math. Your favorite subjects I know. Maybe you can help me with all the liberal arts classes they are making me take.
I got the job! I am now working for GH. I travel around to all the satellite branches helping them with their computers. I have a cubicle at GH, but I'm almost never there. I like being on the road and going around to all the locations. It's like I'm free and not cramped into an office all day. And, I don't have to dress up. They let me wear chinos and polo's, that kind of thing. I don't think I'd like a job where I had to do the suit, tie and dress shoes. No wingtip shoes for me!
I'm buying a car. I'm saving up for a down payment, and I'm almost there. Emily will be glad when I stop putting all the miles on her car. I love you, dad. Looking forward to seeing you next week.
Your son,
Lucky
~*~*~*~
Dear Lucky,
I'm glad to hear that things are going well for you. Boy, college and a job at the same time. I bet you'll be busy, but busy is good.
You'll never guess what I'll be doing soon. I've signed up for college courses online. So good old dad will be giving you a run for your money. I still might need help with the old math. They are making me take algebra. Couldn't talk them out of it. I'll talk to you when I see you later. I want to hear all about the job and the car. Love you, too.
Your father,
Luke