Chapter Fifty-Two
Kevin strode purposefully through the hallways of GH, his face upset and worried and his hair in disarray. His navy blue ski jacket was draped over one arm, and his black and purple nylon sweatsuit made a whooshing sound as the legs rubbed together with his movements. He stopped abruptly at the sight of Tony Jones. Tony was consuming a large, powdered donut and sipping coffee from a white and tan paper cup.
"Hey, Tony," said Kevin. Tony's face relaxed with relief at the sight of Kevin. He brushed off some powdered sugar from his cheek and said, "Kevin. You're a sight for sore eyes. I won't try to shake your hand." Tony frantically wiped his hands on the bottom of the Santa suit, leaving sticky streaks of white on the red, fuzzy surface.
"I just finished talking to Chris Ramsey about Lucky's physical injuries. Do you want to sit down?" Kevin gestured toward two waiting area chairs that were situated near a potted palm tree. Tony sat down in an orange padded chair and rested his arms on the raised armrests. Kevin took a seat beside him, placing his coat on one arm and frowning while making a "tsk" noise when it promptly slid off.
"Are they ever going to update this furniture?" asked Tony, looking around the room and delaying the inevitable conversation about Lucky's suicide attempt. "I feel like I'm a character in a bad '70's sitcom surrounded by all this Day-Glo orange and avocado."
Kevin noticed Tony's discomfort with the situation and sat back, letting Tony get it out of his system. Tony looked at his watch, which registered 12:45 AM. "Merry Christmas," he said wryly. Kevin gave him a small smile. Tony shook his head and sighed. "Only it's not too merry at the moment, is it?"
"What happened, Tony?" asked Kevin, searching Tony's face for a reaction. "You must be very upset."
"Oh, upset doesn't quite cover it," replied Tony sarcastically, his face reddening and his jaw clenching. "I watched helplessly as a boy that I hold dear to my heart sailed over a balcony, almost to his death. It's a miracle I didn't have a heart attack."
"I'd like to piece this situation together so that I know what I'm dealing with," said Kevin. "Can you help me by describing Lucky's actions over the last twelve hours?"
Tony nodded. "I can do that," he said with resignation. "You remember our conversation about the events of the morning - Lucky was very upset over the prospect of Lulu's custody suit. Later on, I drove Lucky to Pentonville to visit his father."
"How did Lucky feel about visiting Luke?"
"He was intent on visiting his father, wouldn't take no for an answer. But on hindsight, he didn't seem especially excited or happy. In fact, he was tense the whole way in the car. He was having trouble holding it together during the visitor's registration."
"What do you mean by holding it together," prompted Kevin.
"He visibly shook, he could hardly write his information down, and he kept looking around the room like he was expecting something. I wasn't comfortable having him there, but what could I do?" Tony shook his head and hit his leg with a clenched fist.
"It sounds like you were very supportive. That's what he needed, and you provided it for him."
Tony shrugged and continued. "I was reading in the waiting area when Lucky was called back to visit Luke. About fifteen minutes later, a guard came running out and said Lucky was having a medical problem. I ran to the visitor's area, and he was unconscious. He was in shock, and from what the guard mentioned, he'd obviously had a flashback to when he was Faison's prisoner. He didn't wake up for about twenty minutes, and I was concerned. I was about to call for an ambulance."
"So Lucky wasn't able to visit with Luke?" Kevin asked. "Was he upset about that?"
"No. He didn't say much about it. I was able to phone Luke and talk to him . He's aware of Lucky's problems. After that, we drove home. I tried to get him to visit the outpatient mental health clinic, but he absolutely refused, and he also refused to call and talk to you. He said he'd talk to you at your next appointment."
"So, it sounds like he wasn't planning to commit suicide at that point," observed Kevin. "He was talking about future plans."
"Yes. Later on, he enjoyed working on a puzzle with Lucas, and he wanted to go to the Christmas party with me and the family." Tony winced. "That's when the trouble started. He was very subdued and quiet tonight. He followed me around like a shadow. That's okay," Tony added, "but just not like him. He's usually more gregarious in a group. Anyway, he became upset because he was very afraid to visit the men's room. That's when I figured out that he must have been assaulted at GH."
Kevin's eyebrows rose. "That's interesting," he commented. "Did Lucky mention the assault?"
Tony shook his head. "No, he was grateful when I checked it out to make sure no one was in there. While he was inside, I waited at the door and struck up a conversation with Marcus Taggert. It seems they arrested some pervert a year ago for victimizing teenage boys in GH men's rooms. He is checking on that as we speak."
Kevin nodded and pulled on his lip as he mentally reviewed the information Tony provided. "What happened in the men's room?"
Tony remained silent for a minute, his head in his hands. Tony shook his head and spoke in a stunned, choked voice. "I opened the door and called out for him. He was in there a long time, and I got worried." Tony sighed and sat back in his chair, his right hand over his eyes, trying to shield himself from the memory of what he'd seen. "Lucky was bent over, working on something," said Tony with a catch in his throat. "He turned around, I saw blood everywhere, on the countertop, dripping down his arm." Tony shook his head again and paused. "He pointed the knife at me like I startled him, and his eyes, I'll never forget how they looked." Tony placed a hand over his stomach. "I feel sick."
"Why don't you pause for a moment? Take a sip of coffee and breathe slowly," Kevin said gently.
Tony resumed speaking after taking in many deep breaths and trying to calm himself. "He screamed, or maybe growled or something, and he darted past me. He ran down the hallway blindly, running into things. Marcus and I followed after Lucky, and he ran out onto a balcony that the smokers use. I ran through the front entrance, and Marcus headed for the side door. Lucky was talking to himself and twirling around with his face raised to the sky. When he saw me, he ranted about something."
"Can you try to remember what he said exactly."
"He was going on about being dead, everyone was dead, she was coming and he was dead but couldn't feel it."
Kevin frowned, and he ran his hand through his snow-flattened hair. "Go on," he said.
Tony coughed and sniffed back his tears. "Lucky ran for the barrier, climbed up on top of some rails, and before we knew it, he slipped and fell. Marcus moved like lightning and caught his lower leg. I grabbed hold of his arm, and we pulled him to safety. We expected him to move or jump up, but he just lay there staring at the sky. After Marcus ran for help, he fell unconscious. There was so much blood everywhere. He was bleeding to death, and his heart was racing to try to keep pumping whatever blood was left. That's it, I've been waiting ever since." Tony's cheeks were wet with tears. "What do you think, Kevin? Can you tell me why this happened?"
Kevin looked at Tony with compassion, and touched his shoulder. "You did well, Tony. You did everything you possibly could for Lucky, and he is alive today because of that. Don't blame yourself for this."
Tony sighed. "Yeah, Kevin. I know. It's just hard."
"I know," Kevin replied. "Suicide or suicide attempts are very difficult for families to understand, and it is natural to grieve and feel helpless and hurt."
Tony snapped his fingers and reached into his Santa suit pocket. "There's one thing I forgot to mention. Marcus, he's such a cop. Anyway, he went back to the restroom to look around and found a letter in the sink. It was a letter from Lucky's mother, and it's a doozie. Here it is." Tony handed over the crumpled letter and gift certificate.
Kevin's hands opened the letter, and he concentrated on the writing. As he read, at first he frowned in confusion, then his eyes widened, and finally narrowed in anger. His attention turned toward the second piece of paper. His mouth opened slightly. "Oh my God," he whispered. Kevin turned towards Tony with a look of disbelief and sorrow.
"That's what Marcus and I looked like when we read the letter," Tony asserted. "It's unbelievable, isn't it? Marcus called it the moral equivalent of attempted murder."
"I think I know now what triggered the suicide attempt," Kevin replied. "Lucky obviously had suicidal ideation, but he wasn't making plans. This drove him to a desperate, impulsive, action. He was already in emotional shock from the prison visit and the reminders and shame of his sexual assault. At that moment in time, he couldn't live with his mother's willful desire for his death. There just wasn't any room for that in his psyche. He sought an escape."
"I don't understand that woman!" Tony said. "Every time I read that letter, it makes me feel confused or sick. I don't know. It's odd."
"Yes, it is odd," agreed Kevin.
"What's your diagnosis, doc?" asked Tony in an attempt at levity.
"You're asking me? Okay. I'd call it a case of narcissism. Laura doesn't see anyone else but herself, what her needs are in a moment in time. If someone interferes with her view of the universe, false that it may be, she scapegoats. I see that with her reference to Luke. And, she projects further onto Lucky, who she views as a persecutor as well, an extension of his father, Luke. She doesn't view Lucky as a separate human being with his own needs, opinions or right to live. As long as she is pleased, he is safe. If she becomes disillusioned, however unreal that may be, her son becomes an impediment to her happiness."
"So the loving, talented, intelligent human being named Lucky Spencer is an impediment, an annoyance in Laura's cosmic scheme?" asked Tony in disbelief.
Kevin nodded wordlessly. "She perceives that her life would be easier if he didn't exist."
"No way," said Tony. "Doesn't that go beyond simple mental illness?"
Kevin shifted in his seat. "Some would call it evil," he said quietly. "It goes beyond science. You'd be better off asking a clergyman about that."
"So you're saying it's pea soup time?" quipped Tony. "We need to call in an exorcist?"
Kevin nodded sagely, appreciating the light moment. "Definite pea soup - as in projectile."
Tony laughed and sadly shook his head. "It's enough to make a man cry." His determined eyes brightened with a flash, and he stated firmly, "Or gear up for battle."
~*~*~*~
Chris Ramsey walked up to Tony and Kevin, and the two men rose to meet him. "Lucky is out of recovery," he announced. "His vitals are good, and he's coming out of the anesthetic. He's not unconscious, but we're having trouble interacting with him. He is not responding to verbal stimuli. Kevin, I'd like for you to examine him." Kevin nodded and Tony exclaimed, "I'm coming with you."
~*~*~*~
Kevin and Tony walked through the doors of the GH psychiatric wing. A nurse called out cheerily from the nurse's station, "Dr. Collins, are you here to wish us a Merry Christmas? I thought you were off this weekend." Kevin grinned and waved a hand as he continued walking. "Ho, ho, ho," he said.
Kevin and Tony followed Chris to Lucky's room. Lucky was connected to an IV and a cardiac monitor. He was very pale with dark circles under his eyes and lying on his back with a white blanket pulled up to his chest. His left hand and forearm were in a plaster cast.
Kevin approached the right side of the bed. "Lucky, it's Kevin," he said. "How are you feeling?" Lucky didn't respond and fixed his stare on a single ceiling tile. Kevin took Lucky's right hand, and Lucky pulled it away sharply. He tried again to touch Lucky by placing a hand on his head, and Lucky tried to move away. Kevin noted his wide pupils and the fact that Lucky didn't flinch when he waved a hand over his eyes. He didn't make a sound as he tried to avoid Kevin's touch.
Kevin turned to Tony and motioned with
his head to the door. "Let's go outside and talk," he stated seriously. Tony
felt a grip of fear around his heart as he followed Kevin out of the room.
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