MARY & MARTHA: Does this remind you of your relationship??

I've been looking at Mary and Martha in the New Testament--they and their brother Lazarus were close friends of Jesus. He hung out a lot at their house in Bethany, a village less than two miles from Jerusalem. About half of you would kill me if I said Mary and Martha really weren't sisters but were lesbians and that "sisters" might be a euphemism for such relationships and Lazarus might have been a gay male friend--SO I won't say that. I mean just because they never married and no other relatives are mentioned...and lesbian relationships would certainly be spoken of in euphemisms if at all...Sure, I'm adding stuff to the text; call it Midrash or expanding the story, or interpreting it, or looking at the Bible thru lesbian eyes--straight people do this all the time. So shoot me.

This is the Mary who anointed Jesus' feet with perfume and wiped them with her hair (John 11 & 12) The parallel passages in Mark 14 and Matt. 26 say a woman came to Simon's house in Bethany and poured the perfume on Jesus' HEAD. In Luke 7: 36, another woman anoints Jesus' feet with her tears and then the perfume and wipes them with her hair. In this case Jesus says the woman is forgiven much (prostitution is hinted at) and that she loves much. I don't know why women keep doing this thing to Jesus--is it all the same woman, Mary of Bethany? What do you think? Anyway, I digress.

Ok so whether they are biological sisters or something else, I want to discuss their relationship with each other, looking especially at one passage, Luke 10: 38-41. What happens is common to many of our relationships. Read it please. It is short. Lazarus isn't mentioned here. He's not even sick yet, just off somewhere. Maybe hospitality is not his gift either. While Mary--probably the one who is so devoted to Jesus in the other stories--sits listening to Jesus, poor Martha is slaving away in the kitchen preparing a meal for Jesus and his entourage--maybe it was a Sabbath meal--somebody's got to kill a goat, skin it, etc., grind the corn and make meal, make manna patties, pick some bitter herbs--you get the idea--Lotsa and lotsa work--set the table, get extra reclining couches from the neighbors, water to wash feet, spread fresh linens, borrow extra wine chalices...oy veh! Are they staying over? Beat the dust out of the goat skins, hang the woven sleeping rugs to air out, get extra buckets of water from the well...Martha is beyond overwhelmed. Whose idea was this anyway? And where is "sister" Mary, who seems to be so enamored of Jesus? SHE is in the living room, sitting at his feet. Not lifting a finger to help, rapt on his every word, totally ignoring all of Martha's frantic movement. Ever been there? So Martha, in all her wounded feelings, does what we would do--she goes to the therapist and says, "Look how my lazy sister treats me! We both agree to have a party--with this guy she is practically in love with--though he seems celibate (How weird is that!) and then she leaves me to do ALL the work! Make her stop!!!" Or course the therapist in this case is the guy she is practically in love with--and they are having a good time without her. Instead of empathizing with poor Martha, the esteemed counselor says, in effect, "you worry way too much--only one thing is needed (what did he mean by this??). Mary is doing the better thing and you'd better let her do it! (paraphrase)"

A few questions:

1. If you are in a relationship or used to be, which one of you was Mary and which was Martha? Or if you are looking for a relationship, which would you most likely be?

2. Do you divide up household chores? Does it work? Can you tell her if there are problems? Can you tell a third party?

3. What was Mary doing that was "better" according to Jesus? Are there equivalents in our relationships today, such as one going to school or church or praying all the time and not pulling her share at home?

4. What does this passage say to the one doing all the work of hospitality? have fun...no research is necessary. We'd love to hear your musings!

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